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Example Output

Channel: Moslitski

RSS URL:

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      string(31) "Wed, 19 Feb 2020 15:48:00 +0000"
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      ["title"]=>
      string(79) "Just because you've forgotten Craiglist doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten you!"
      ["description"]=>
      string(9766) "

I have to hold my hands up, there is no progress with casual fling. Nothing has changed and I must have been fooling myself when I thought he was still ‘thinking about’ what had been said. I just don’t think he knows what he wants and I certainly want more than that!

Toronto craigslist ads
Edmonton craigslist ads
Vancouver craigslist ads
Montreal craigslist ads
Ottawa craigslist ads
Winnipeg craigslist ads
Calgary craigslist ads
Brisbane craigslist ads
London craigslist ads

I’m half chatting to a few guys on the dating site again but not with much gusto. There is soon more drama when I start 
Craiglist chatting to a local guy on Craiglist instant messenger after exchanging a few e-mails. He asks for my number and suggests meeting up at one our local drinking holes to see if we recognise each other as he seems to socialise in all the same places I do. Pretty late that night he text me about arrangements but I was too tired to think straight and reply and ended up falling asleep soon after. I could not believe what I woke to on my phone in the morning!!! He had text me a photo of a girl holding her top up…no bra. I’m flummoxed. The next text says; ‘My ex, what do you think?. I text him back saying not to bother contacting me, I thought it was pretty disrespectful to me and her sending that message considering I doubt her permission was sought and we hadn’t even met yet. I mean, well done mate! No idea why you’re single…Idiot!

I’m recounting this story to my mate Alex at work the next day, he’s been on the dating site too but we hadn’t spoken much about it and he coyly admitted he’d met someone last week. He said her 
Craiglist profile picture was great, she looked really pretty and sounded really sweet. She talked about yoga and fitness on her Craiglist profile, said she liked to look after herself and she was looking forward to meeting someone ‘normal’. When they actually met Alex realised she’d pulled a classic trick; only adding photo’s from the waist up. He walked into some pub to meet her and she was already there sat down. After an hour and two drinks she got up to go to the Craiglist ladies revealing the most eeeenormous hips and ass that were totally out of proportion with the rest of her body. Now that’s just not playing fair and if I met a guy who had edited out his beer belly then I’d be pretty peeved. Now it gets worse, despite Alex being shocked and not entirely pleased with the size of said lady’s derriere he says he’ll meet her again to see how things go. She texts the day before asking him to bring his cheque book as she’s lost hers and really needs to pay for something. Right. Normal? Maybe in your world luv!

It’s a minefield out there and it appears my little friend with the bad judgement on the appropriateness of texts has not got the 
Craiglist message. He texts me again, this time with a picture of his erect penis and a ‘Sorry, will this make it better?’ message below. NO IT WILL NOT! I tell him firmly where to stick it and tell him not to contact me ever again or I’ll report him to the police. I do get a nice reminder that there are sweet people in this world when David texts saying sorry he’s been so busy but he’s been following my favourite TV programme and hopes I’m enjoying it too. But I get a shock on Valentines day….

As a single person it’s really a day to be ignored and I had done just that, I hadn’t even thought about it when I woke up. I got to work and thought nothing of it when the DHL man rang the buzzer, he delivers stuff all the time. The box was for me however, and it was a BIG box. In it were a number of carefully wrapped items and a very pretty card which left no traditional mystery as it was signed ‘Be my valentine, All my love, David, x’. Okaaay. In the box were a number of very carefully chosen items personal to myself; my favourite champagne, my favourite chocolates, the cereal I have always eaten before I go to bed, my favourite board game that I don’t have my own copy of, a punnet of my favourite fruit and a single red rose. I’m quite speechless and halfway between exceptionally impressed and freaked out as his listening skills. In fact, I’m incredulous. I havn’t even told him where I work but I must have mentioned my company name in conversation. The guy is either a genius or had a Dictaphone under the table at all our 
Craiglist dates. I text him with profuse thanks and feel terribly guilty I didn’t even send a card.

I spend the rest of the day still reeling about this mornings package, half chuckling and half freaked out! The buzzer soon wakes me up at four o’clock though, it’s an enormous bunch of flowers. Very rare ones, that only grow in certain places in the far east that are hugely expensive to get over here. Only someone who had listened un-naturally carefully would have found the exact flowers or remembered that I had seen them growing in their natural habitat while travelling. The card just says ‘Have dinner with me next week, David x’.

So what do I make of this one??
" ["link"]=> string(84) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/02/just-because-youve-forgotten-craiglist.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(9766) "

I have to hold my hands up, there is no progress with casual fling. Nothing has changed and I must have been fooling myself when I thought he was still ‘thinking about’ what had been said. I just don’t think he knows what he wants and I certainly want more than that!

Toronto craigslist ads
Edmonton craigslist ads
Vancouver craigslist ads
Montreal craigslist ads
Ottawa craigslist ads
Winnipeg craigslist ads
Calgary craigslist ads
Brisbane craigslist ads
London craigslist ads

I’m half chatting to a few guys on the dating site again but not with much gusto. There is soon more drama when I start 
Craiglist chatting to a local guy on Craiglist instant messenger after exchanging a few e-mails. He asks for my number and suggests meeting up at one our local drinking holes to see if we recognise each other as he seems to socialise in all the same places I do. Pretty late that night he text me about arrangements but I was too tired to think straight and reply and ended up falling asleep soon after. I could not believe what I woke to on my phone in the morning!!! He had text me a photo of a girl holding her top up…no bra. I’m flummoxed. The next text says; ‘My ex, what do you think?. I text him back saying not to bother contacting me, I thought it was pretty disrespectful to me and her sending that message considering I doubt her permission was sought and we hadn’t even met yet. I mean, well done mate! No idea why you’re single…Idiot!

I’m recounting this story to my mate Alex at work the next day, he’s been on the dating site too but we hadn’t spoken much about it and he coyly admitted he’d met someone last week. He said her 
Craiglist profile picture was great, she looked really pretty and sounded really sweet. She talked about yoga and fitness on her Craiglist profile, said she liked to look after herself and she was looking forward to meeting someone ‘normal’. When they actually met Alex realised she’d pulled a classic trick; only adding photo’s from the waist up. He walked into some pub to meet her and she was already there sat down. After an hour and two drinks she got up to go to the Craiglist ladies revealing the most eeeenormous hips and ass that were totally out of proportion with the rest of her body. Now that’s just not playing fair and if I met a guy who had edited out his beer belly then I’d be pretty peeved. Now it gets worse, despite Alex being shocked and not entirely pleased with the size of said lady’s derriere he says he’ll meet her again to see how things go. She texts the day before asking him to bring his cheque book as she’s lost hers and really needs to pay for something. Right. Normal? Maybe in your world luv!

It’s a minefield out there and it appears my little friend with the bad judgement on the appropriateness of texts has not got the 
Craiglist message. He texts me again, this time with a picture of his erect penis and a ‘Sorry, will this make it better?’ message below. NO IT WILL NOT! I tell him firmly where to stick it and tell him not to contact me ever again or I’ll report him to the police. I do get a nice reminder that there are sweet people in this world when David texts saying sorry he’s been so busy but he’s been following my favourite TV programme and hopes I’m enjoying it too. But I get a shock on Valentines day….

As a single person it’s really a day to be ignored and I had done just that, I hadn’t even thought about it when I woke up. I got to work and thought nothing of it when the DHL man rang the buzzer, he delivers stuff all the time. The box was for me however, and it was a BIG box. In it were a number of carefully wrapped items and a very pretty card which left no traditional mystery as it was signed ‘Be my valentine, All my love, David, x’. Okaaay. In the box were a number of very carefully chosen items personal to myself; my favourite champagne, my favourite chocolates, the cereal I have always eaten before I go to bed, my favourite board game that I don’t have my own copy of, a punnet of my favourite fruit and a single red rose. I’m quite speechless and halfway between exceptionally impressed and freaked out as his listening skills. In fact, I’m incredulous. I havn’t even told him where I work but I must have mentioned my company name in conversation. The guy is either a genius or had a Dictaphone under the table at all our 
Craiglist dates. I text him with profuse thanks and feel terribly guilty I didn’t even send a card.

I spend the rest of the day still reeling about this mornings package, half chuckling and half freaked out! The buzzer soon wakes me up at four o’clock though, it’s an enormous bunch of flowers. Very rare ones, that only grow in certain places in the far east that are hugely expensive to get over here. Only someone who had listened un-naturally carefully would have found the exact flowers or remembered that I had seen them growing in their natural habitat while travelling. The card just says ‘Have dinner with me next week, David x’.

So what do I make of this one??
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1582127280) } [1]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-1080541435902576464" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 18 Feb 2020 15:07:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-02-18T07:07:28.620-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(46) "He's Just Not That Into You: Doublelist Review" ["description"]=> string(8200) "

I got this book a few weeks ago and started reading it. I have to say that I was one of those women who made the same assumptions when it came to guys not calling back. I'd meet someone and everything seemed to be going good, I gave him my number and he did call a couple times. So I thought I had it made. In our last conversation he said he'd call the next day. But the next day came and went and no phone call.

Toronto
Edmonton
Vancouver
Montreal
Ottawa
Winnipeg
Calgary
Brisbane

London

Like most women, I just assumed that maybe he was busy and didn't have the chance to call yet, so I waited. And after a few days I began to wonder if maybe he lost my number. I wondered if I should call him just in case. So finally I did, I got his voice mail and left a casual message. I thought now for sure he'll call back. A few days went by and no call. But still for some reason It never occurred to me that maybe he just wasn't all that interested. And I spent a couple of days doing what every woman does when this happens: wondering what I did wrong! Did I say something to scare him off, was I not attractive enough, in my mind there just had to be some reason. But really, I did nothing wrong. I just couldn't see that he wasn't that into me.

I got the book "He's Just Not That Into You" by Liz Tuccillo and Greg Behrendt. I had seen it advertised and this was before the movie came out. So I got into the book right away, I was curious about how guys think when it comes to dating and relationships. I could myself in those examples in the book, I was making the same assumptions and the same excuses they were.

The idea for this book came about by accident. Greg Behrendt was at a conference where the author of this book was also attending. Some of the others were sitting around talking and one women asked a question and it was Greg's answer right off that set the whole thing in motion.
She was telling a friend that she met this guy and everything was great and then suddenly he stopped calling. She asked her friend if she had done anything to scare him away. So she was quite shocked when Greg answered the question by saying "No, it sounds like he just wasn't that into you! Wow, could it really be that simple? Just a lack of interest?

We make all kinds of excuses as to why a guy hasn't called back because we don't want to think that the nice, good-looking guy we just met could be that rude. But it's not rudeness on his part. He just doesn't want to hurt your feeling or risk making you cry by saying that he really doesn't think it will work out. Men will do anything to not hurt your feelings, at least most decent men will there area few exceptions. So he thinks it's kinder to not lead you on by calling or returning your messages.

But we as women do this too. You have to change the way you see this. Imagine it from a different perspective. Let's say you meet this really nice guy, he's good-looking but not exactly the type your looking for. You talk and he asks for your number. You agree to a date and go out. But you realize after the date that although he's a great guy, theres just something lacking for you. Not anything he did wrong, but your just not really interested in going on another date with him. Here is the saying reversed "You're just not that into him" simple as that. So what do you do? Do you call him and say "hey your a great guy but I'm just not interested in dating you anymore? No way, that would be cruel. I'll just not call him, he'll eventually get the picture and I wont have to hurt his feelings. Sound familiar? It easy to understand this once you see it from a different angle.

If you'd like more insight on men, from a guy's view I recommend reading the book. I really enjoyed it and he is upfront and honest about how guys think. Straight from the horse's mouth. I have experienced the same thing over and over so I know from personal experience. Believe me you are not the only one who has this problem. Read the examples and letters from other women, I know you will see yourself in everyone of them like I did. Not being someones type isn't a crime. We just need to remove the personal feelings from it and realize that if were not his type then we are someone elses and we just haven't met them yet. Move on to the next adventure without hurt feelings and guilt.
What really gets me are the people who talk of going on spur of the moment trips abroad and want someone with the same kind of sense of adventure.

Um, I…have a job? And pets? And, like, other stuff?


I’ll admit it: I don’t travel. I’ve just never been one to travel much because I’ve always worked.

Doesn’t mean I don’t want to, I just…never get to it, I guess. I think to many people who use these sites and apps I’m boring and uncultured. Yet, I’m always reading about other countries and cultures and trying to learn more about other people’s traditions. I have a curiosity about stuff like that. That’s not something you put in a profile, though.
" ["link"]=> string(83) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/02/hes-just-not-that-into-you-doublelist.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(8200) "

I got this book a few weeks ago and started reading it. I have to say that I was one of those women who made the same assumptions when it came to guys not calling back. I'd meet someone and everything seemed to be going good, I gave him my number and he did call a couple times. So I thought I had it made. In our last conversation he said he'd call the next day. But the next day came and went and no phone call.

Toronto
Edmonton
Vancouver
Montreal
Ottawa
Winnipeg
Calgary
Brisbane

London

Like most women, I just assumed that maybe he was busy and didn't have the chance to call yet, so I waited. And after a few days I began to wonder if maybe he lost my number. I wondered if I should call him just in case. So finally I did, I got his voice mail and left a casual message. I thought now for sure he'll call back. A few days went by and no call. But still for some reason It never occurred to me that maybe he just wasn't all that interested. And I spent a couple of days doing what every woman does when this happens: wondering what I did wrong! Did I say something to scare him off, was I not attractive enough, in my mind there just had to be some reason. But really, I did nothing wrong. I just couldn't see that he wasn't that into me.

I got the book "He's Just Not That Into You" by Liz Tuccillo and Greg Behrendt. I had seen it advertised and this was before the movie came out. So I got into the book right away, I was curious about how guys think when it comes to dating and relationships. I could myself in those examples in the book, I was making the same assumptions and the same excuses they were.

The idea for this book came about by accident. Greg Behrendt was at a conference where the author of this book was also attending. Some of the others were sitting around talking and one women asked a question and it was Greg's answer right off that set the whole thing in motion.
She was telling a friend that she met this guy and everything was great and then suddenly he stopped calling. She asked her friend if she had done anything to scare him away. So she was quite shocked when Greg answered the question by saying "No, it sounds like he just wasn't that into you! Wow, could it really be that simple? Just a lack of interest?

We make all kinds of excuses as to why a guy hasn't called back because we don't want to think that the nice, good-looking guy we just met could be that rude. But it's not rudeness on his part. He just doesn't want to hurt your feeling or risk making you cry by saying that he really doesn't think it will work out. Men will do anything to not hurt your feelings, at least most decent men will there area few exceptions. So he thinks it's kinder to not lead you on by calling or returning your messages.

But we as women do this too. You have to change the way you see this. Imagine it from a different perspective. Let's say you meet this really nice guy, he's good-looking but not exactly the type your looking for. You talk and he asks for your number. You agree to a date and go out. But you realize after the date that although he's a great guy, theres just something lacking for you. Not anything he did wrong, but your just not really interested in going on another date with him. Here is the saying reversed "You're just not that into him" simple as that. So what do you do? Do you call him and say "hey your a great guy but I'm just not interested in dating you anymore? No way, that would be cruel. I'll just not call him, he'll eventually get the picture and I wont have to hurt his feelings. Sound familiar? It easy to understand this once you see it from a different angle.

If you'd like more insight on men, from a guy's view I recommend reading the book. I really enjoyed it and he is upfront and honest about how guys think. Straight from the horse's mouth. I have experienced the same thing over and over so I know from personal experience. Believe me you are not the only one who has this problem. Read the examples and letters from other women, I know you will see yourself in everyone of them like I did. Not being someones type isn't a crime. We just need to remove the personal feelings from it and realize that if were not his type then we are someone elses and we just haven't met them yet. Move on to the next adventure without hurt feelings and guilt.
What really gets me are the people who talk of going on spur of the moment trips abroad and want someone with the same kind of sense of adventure.

Um, I…have a job? And pets? And, like, other stuff?


I’ll admit it: I don’t travel. I’ve just never been one to travel much because I’ve always worked.

Doesn’t mean I don’t want to, I just…never get to it, I guess. I think to many people who use these sites and apps I’m boring and uncultured. Yet, I’m always reading about other countries and cultures and trying to learn more about other people’s traditions. I have a curiosity about stuff like that. That’s not something you put in a profile, though.
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1582038420) } [2]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-3721470782849964753" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 12 Feb 2020 15:37:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-02-12T07:37:38.552-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(50) "It’s Not Just A Title: The Maine Backpage Debate" ["description"]=> string(9289) "


Backpage, the words seem so elementary don’t they? I can still remember in grade school Christopher Hamilton secretly slipping a note on my desk as he walked past, pretending to need to sharpen his pencil. Scribbled on the somewhat crumpled piece of looseleaf was five little words,

WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?

Bangor

Portland

Augusta
Lewiston
Auburn
Sanford
Waterville
Gorham
Farmington
Biddeford
Brunswick
Rockland
Bath
Belfast
Ellsworth
Brewer
Skowhegan
Addison
Saco
Houlton
Dexter

Showhegan

To this request I said yes and me and Chris were in relationship bliss for a whole two hours-that’s when recess rolled around and the thought of having to hold his hand or sit next to him repulsed me, so I quickly changed my mind. My shortest relationship to date, but Chris didn’t care, he was so excited to be able to call me his girlfriend-it meant something to him.

Nowadays, that’s not the case. I hear more and more people talking about not wanting “the title”. They want to date without calling it Backpage. Is it because they’ve been hurt so many times in the past that they don’t trust? Or is it just because in our society today people are more afraid and reluctant to make commitments and stick to them? Some people will tell you that the title means nothing.

Truth is Backpage has lots of meaning associated with it. There are certain requirements, expectations, and commitments that go along with that title. It’s like getting a promotion at work. You receive a new title and along with that title often times comes more responsibility, a greater commitment, and yes, greater pay. You are entitled to enjoy the greater benefits that the title brings, but with greater responsibility. When you make the step from just dating to being in a relationship it is much like getting that job promotion. Although within each individual relationship the expectations may differ, the point in which you enter into a said relationship, expectations arise.

Without defined expectations, a relationship is sure to fizzle out, usually because one or both parties are not getting what they need or want-because they’ve yet to define to the other person what they expect from them. This is the whole purpose of the whole Backpage phenom. As elementary as it may sound to a woman who is divorced in her early forties with teenagers who also have “boyfriends” it is what defines the commitment and benefits level of a relationship. Remember, often times if the relationship is not defined, there’s no relationship.


" ["link"]=> string(86) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/02/its-not-just-title-maine-backpage-debate.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(9289) "


Backpage, the words seem so elementary don’t they? I can still remember in grade school Christopher Hamilton secretly slipping a note on my desk as he walked past, pretending to need to sharpen his pencil. Scribbled on the somewhat crumpled piece of looseleaf was five little words,

WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?

Bangor

Portland

Augusta
Lewiston
Auburn
Sanford
Waterville
Gorham
Farmington
Biddeford
Brunswick
Rockland
Bath
Belfast
Ellsworth
Brewer
Skowhegan
Addison
Saco
Houlton
Dexter

Showhegan

To this request I said yes and me and Chris were in relationship bliss for a whole two hours-that’s when recess rolled around and the thought of having to hold his hand or sit next to him repulsed me, so I quickly changed my mind. My shortest relationship to date, but Chris didn’t care, he was so excited to be able to call me his girlfriend-it meant something to him.

Nowadays, that’s not the case. I hear more and more people talking about not wanting “the title”. They want to date without calling it Backpage. Is it because they’ve been hurt so many times in the past that they don’t trust? Or is it just because in our society today people are more afraid and reluctant to make commitments and stick to them? Some people will tell you that the title means nothing.

Truth is Backpage has lots of meaning associated with it. There are certain requirements, expectations, and commitments that go along with that title. It’s like getting a promotion at work. You receive a new title and along with that title often times comes more responsibility, a greater commitment, and yes, greater pay. You are entitled to enjoy the greater benefits that the title brings, but with greater responsibility. When you make the step from just dating to being in a relationship it is much like getting that job promotion. Although within each individual relationship the expectations may differ, the point in which you enter into a said relationship, expectations arise.

Without defined expectations, a relationship is sure to fizzle out, usually because one or both parties are not getting what they need or want-because they’ve yet to define to the other person what they expect from them. This is the whole purpose of the whole Backpage phenom. As elementary as it may sound to a woman who is divorced in her early forties with teenagers who also have “boyfriends” it is what defines the commitment and benefits level of a relationship. Remember, often times if the relationship is not defined, there’s no relationship.


" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1581521820) } [3]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-6966243406087215081" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 11 Feb 2020 15:44:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-02-11T07:44:57.127-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(25) "Canadian Hookup Adventure" ["description"]=> string(7610) "

Some dudes are emotionally dumb. Most dudes. They have no empathy, and thus no insight into what a woman’s feeling.

Toronto hookup
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“When a woman is into a guy, she finds excuses to free her schedule.” You spoke the gospel, Moxie. As a man, you’re not just competing against every other guy chatting her up on OkCupid, but also and more so against the EXCITEMENT SHE FEELS about all of those guys chatting her up on Loveawake. You have to be better than the thrill she gets from multiple guys hustling for her time. That’s tough, and takes your attention and your effort. If he (or any man) wants a woman to open up her schedule for him, he had better earn it. Or he can “just be himself” and end up having to send his sob story into a dating column.

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Montreal hookup
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I’m in an offline hookup “upswing” currently. When a woman seems resistant and plays the “next week is so busy” card, I play it cool in a way that alludes to the fact that I have options, just like her. My standard line in that situation, word-for-word: “No worries. I’ll be patient, and hope that no one sweeps either of us off of our feet by then.” Then I’ll call her (NOT TEXT), midway through the week to reconnect.

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Or she could just be busy. She could have plans with friends, be going out of town, working, whatever. The canned lamenting about having to wait to see her is a huge turn off. Why are you demanding her time when you just met? Play it cool, my friend.

Play it cool. Although based on my hookup experiences you MAY be correct, i dont like this play it cool game. Its fake. Why play it cool? Play it how you feel it just dont make the other person feel like they dont have space and cant breath. But definitly dont play anything. Im not saying to lamely just “Be yourself” im saying dont just play the cool fool who who lets some other guy dance with your girl. Go take your girl.

My general view is that trying to set up a date the immediate weekend after a Wednesday first date is too soon. Even if you had no plans for the weekend, I think it makes you seem too available and/or lacing in impulse control which is a potential kiss of death for a man. I don’t agree with Moxie’s view that dating has changed in a way that requires rushing things – yes, she has many options. Women always do. And… always have. The key is to create the appearance that you have options too.

Otherwise, I agree with Moxie’s advice that the proper response to a “booked” situation is to just play along and allow her to control the pace. You don’t need to know the answer if she’s “really” interested or not. Time will tell – I would check in with her, she will come around and reciprocate if she’s interested. Trying to guilt her into seeing you after one date is a very bad idea, in my opnion.

I think it’s absolutely fine to see someone again a few days after a first date. In my view, its all in how you ask though. You don’t want to come off like you had nothing else going on or that you’re entirely freeing up your schedule to see this person again. You should have plans ready that you can mention. Something you were doing anyway that you can just invite her to rather than asking her out again. Its much more casual hookup and less pressure. I like Horace’s line too. Prob start using that…

Even though most people are cool with short hookups during the workweek, i don’t assume that anyone is going to be willing to go out on dates on a work night. Some people can seem overly fussy about never letting themselves stay out late if it’s not a weekend. It’s not weird in and of itself if someone you’ve just started dating can only see you once or twice a week in the beginning. It’s also not weird for that person to have to tie up a lot of loose ends before a relationship can fall into place. That includes fulfilling plans she made before you met her and dates that she already has on her roster. It’s curious that this guy doesn’t seem to have asked her about her work schedule or what she’s doing for the next two weekends. I don’t think I’ve ever come away from a first date not knowing when the guy gets home from hookup and the details of the fun things he’s doing over the weekend.
" ["link"]=> string(71) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/02/canadian-hookup-adventure.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(7610) "

Some dudes are emotionally dumb. Most dudes. They have no empathy, and thus no insight into what a woman’s feeling.

Toronto hookup
Edmonton hookup
Regina hookup
Windsor hookup

“When a woman is into a guy, she finds excuses to free her schedule.” You spoke the gospel, Moxie. As a man, you’re not just competing against every other guy chatting her up on OkCupid, but also and more so against the EXCITEMENT SHE FEELS about all of those guys chatting her up on Loveawake. You have to be better than the thrill she gets from multiple guys hustling for her time. That’s tough, and takes your attention and your effort. If he (or any man) wants a woman to open up her schedule for him, he had better earn it. Or he can “just be himself” and end up having to send his sob story into a dating column.

Mississauga hookup
Montreal hookup
Kitchener hookup
Saskatoon hookup

I’m in an offline hookup “upswing” currently. When a woman seems resistant and plays the “next week is so busy” card, I play it cool in a way that alludes to the fact that I have options, just like her. My standard line in that situation, word-for-word: “No worries. I’ll be patient, and hope that no one sweeps either of us off of our feet by then.” Then I’ll call her (NOT TEXT), midway through the week to reconnect.

Scarborough hookup
Brampton hookup
Vancouver hookup
Halifax hookup

Or she could just be busy. She could have plans with friends, be going out of town, working, whatever. The canned lamenting about having to wait to see her is a huge turn off. Why are you demanding her time when you just met? Play it cool, my friend.

Play it cool. Although based on my hookup experiences you MAY be correct, i dont like this play it cool game. Its fake. Why play it cool? Play it how you feel it just dont make the other person feel like they dont have space and cant breath. But definitly dont play anything. Im not saying to lamely just “Be yourself” im saying dont just play the cool fool who who lets some other guy dance with your girl. Go take your girl.

My general view is that trying to set up a date the immediate weekend after a Wednesday first date is too soon. Even if you had no plans for the weekend, I think it makes you seem too available and/or lacing in impulse control which is a potential kiss of death for a man. I don’t agree with Moxie’s view that dating has changed in a way that requires rushing things – yes, she has many options. Women always do. And… always have. The key is to create the appearance that you have options too.

Otherwise, I agree with Moxie’s advice that the proper response to a “booked” situation is to just play along and allow her to control the pace. You don’t need to know the answer if she’s “really” interested or not. Time will tell – I would check in with her, she will come around and reciprocate if she’s interested. Trying to guilt her into seeing you after one date is a very bad idea, in my opnion.

I think it’s absolutely fine to see someone again a few days after a first date. In my view, its all in how you ask though. You don’t want to come off like you had nothing else going on or that you’re entirely freeing up your schedule to see this person again. You should have plans ready that you can mention. Something you were doing anyway that you can just invite her to rather than asking her out again. Its much more casual hookup and less pressure. I like Horace’s line too. Prob start using that…

Even though most people are cool with short hookups during the workweek, i don’t assume that anyone is going to be willing to go out on dates on a work night. Some people can seem overly fussy about never letting themselves stay out late if it’s not a weekend. It’s not weird in and of itself if someone you’ve just started dating can only see you once or twice a week in the beginning. It’s also not weird for that person to have to tie up a lot of loose ends before a relationship can fall into place. That includes fulfilling plans she made before you met her and dates that she already has on her roster. It’s curious that this guy doesn’t seem to have asked her about her work schedule or what she’s doing for the next two weekends. I don’t think I’ve ever come away from a first date not knowing when the guy gets home from hookup and the details of the fun things he’s doing over the weekend.
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1581435840) } [4]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-1533889624813253178" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 04 Feb 2020 14:51:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-02-04T06:51:38.232-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(20) "Ontario Backpage Ads" ["description"]=> string(7707) "


While I agree that the men can pick up on a woman’s vulnerability, I think initially the woman meets a man who she believes is out of her league (so she thinks) and pursues him because of that. That’s all tied to the insecurity and vulnerability. Having that man in her life validates her and helps her deal with her insecurity.

Kitchener Backpage Ads

You never said what your family thought of him. I’ve been in situations where my mother didn’t like the Kitchener backpage person I was seeing, and she was right in feeling that way. It’s important for you to meet his family, because a man’s relationship with them says a lot about his character and how he will treat you in the future. All relationships start off perfect, so there is no indication that this will work in the long run, although nothing is guaranteed in life, except death. I wish you the best of luck.

Halifax Ads

Hi Carina, I’m reading your question and it looks like the relationship that started too fast for me too, fast forward a year and a half and he still is not ready to commit. I feel like this kind of guys are already so afraid of commitment that they would lie to themselves that they want to commit when in reality they are never ready. Could you please give an update on this thread? Thanks
Try not to panic or over think this Halifax backpage. Things look good so sit back and enjoy. Just because he mentioned moving in doesn’t mean you have to. You also don’t have to get married or preggers this year either.

Brampton Dating Backpages

I moved pretty fast in my relationship/marriage too but things felt right and I just went with the flow. I always get a bit irked when the term unhealthy is thrown around to describe these relationships. My Brampton backpage husband is by far the most emotionally healthy, stable and balanced person I know. Also timing is important where when you two have finished maturing from the experience from past relationships and things tend to flow smoother as there are less kinks to work out.

Guelph Dating

Different relationships reach milestones at different stages. Being in one where the milestones took forever or never happened at all to one where it happened quickly I can’t say slow is always always better. I would just enjoy and not make any giant moves for at least 3-6 months just to make sure you are getting a chance to see the real Guelph backpage personality underneath. Also going on vacation is a great idea because you are both in an unfamiliar place doing your own bits of problem solving while having a good time. If you manage this without murdering it can be a good sign for compatibility. Deciding to step back and be distant just because could hurt any positive momentum you two got going and create drama where there isn’t any. Just relax and enjoy.

I agree with Saj – enjoy the new relationship, take the keys for convenience and leave some stuff there..but don’t move in, give up your apt, give up making friends etc. You will continue to meet his friends and spend time together and any personality quirks will come out in the next six months..and then you can see from there. That said..keep your eyes open and don’t marry someone who you don’t really know..because of the rush there is the potential that he is lonely, trying to get over something, depressed etc. and looking for the new girl in town for the fix.. 

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One more thing — I have lived in NYC and in Florida. The mind set of people are totally different in each place. People I knew in NYC were more driven and individualistic, and frankly thought more about how things affected them rather than “us”. There was always a slight wariness of how being a couple would infringe on their life.


People I knew in Ontario were more into coupling up, combining and sharing a life. More old fashioned in a way. And more willing to take the leap into marriage. That said, I knew plenty of women in Florida who were working on their 3rd husband before reaching 30.

I wouldn’t move in with him. But don’t be scared off because he wants you. Take his advice and wait a year before getting engaged. If you still love him after a year, then go get hitched and have a great life together!

" ["link"]=> string(83) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/02/while-i-agree-that-themen-can-pick-up.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(7707) "


While I agree that the men can pick up on a woman’s vulnerability, I think initially the woman meets a man who she believes is out of her league (so she thinks) and pursues him because of that. That’s all tied to the insecurity and vulnerability. Having that man in her life validates her and helps her deal with her insecurity.

Kitchener Backpage Ads

You never said what your family thought of him. I’ve been in situations where my mother didn’t like the Kitchener backpage person I was seeing, and she was right in feeling that way. It’s important for you to meet his family, because a man’s relationship with them says a lot about his character and how he will treat you in the future. All relationships start off perfect, so there is no indication that this will work in the long run, although nothing is guaranteed in life, except death. I wish you the best of luck.

Halifax Ads

Hi Carina, I’m reading your question and it looks like the relationship that started too fast for me too, fast forward a year and a half and he still is not ready to commit. I feel like this kind of guys are already so afraid of commitment that they would lie to themselves that they want to commit when in reality they are never ready. Could you please give an update on this thread? Thanks
Try not to panic or over think this Halifax backpage. Things look good so sit back and enjoy. Just because he mentioned moving in doesn’t mean you have to. You also don’t have to get married or preggers this year either.

Brampton Dating Backpages

I moved pretty fast in my relationship/marriage too but things felt right and I just went with the flow. I always get a bit irked when the term unhealthy is thrown around to describe these relationships. My Brampton backpage husband is by far the most emotionally healthy, stable and balanced person I know. Also timing is important where when you two have finished maturing from the experience from past relationships and things tend to flow smoother as there are less kinks to work out.

Guelph Dating

Different relationships reach milestones at different stages. Being in one where the milestones took forever or never happened at all to one where it happened quickly I can’t say slow is always always better. I would just enjoy and not make any giant moves for at least 3-6 months just to make sure you are getting a chance to see the real Guelph backpage personality underneath. Also going on vacation is a great idea because you are both in an unfamiliar place doing your own bits of problem solving while having a good time. If you manage this without murdering it can be a good sign for compatibility. Deciding to step back and be distant just because could hurt any positive momentum you two got going and create drama where there isn’t any. Just relax and enjoy.

I agree with Saj – enjoy the new relationship, take the keys for convenience and leave some stuff there..but don’t move in, give up your apt, give up making friends etc. You will continue to meet his friends and spend time together and any personality quirks will come out in the next six months..and then you can see from there. That said..keep your eyes open and don’t marry someone who you don’t really know..because of the rush there is the potential that he is lonely, trying to get over something, depressed etc. and looking for the new girl in town for the fix.. 

Regina backpage
Ontario backpage
Durham backpage
One more thing — I have lived in NYC and in Florida. The mind set of people are totally different in each place. People I knew in NYC were more driven and individualistic, and frankly thought more about how things affected them rather than “us”. There was always a slight wariness of how being a couple would infringe on their life.


People I knew in Ontario were more into coupling up, combining and sharing a life. More old fashioned in a way. And more willing to take the leap into marriage. That said, I knew plenty of women in Florida who were working on their 3rd husband before reaching 30.

I wouldn’t move in with him. But don’t be scared off because he wants you. Take his advice and wait a year before getting engaged. If you still love him after a year, then go get hitched and have a great life together!

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1580827860) } [5]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-2260424805015457214" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 04 Feb 2020 13:36:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-02-04T05:36:26.376-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(9) "Text Game" ["description"]=> string(10274) "

Text Game - I hear so many guys complain about how difficult the initial phone call is when setting up a day 2 with a girl they just met. Having to reintroduce yourself, where you met, the awkward pauses, not knowing what to say. One way I’ve learned to remedy this is before I ask a girl for her number or contact info is to set up the date beforehand. In set, after we’ve established attraction, created rapport and are now at a point where we are sharing information about ourselves, I might say something like, “I need to hit the mall and get some new shoes. You should join me.” Or you could say, “Do you know of such and such place (a new bar, store, etc)…I heard it was really cool…I’m going to check it out with some friends this week…you should meet us.”
This is so different from asking a girl to a coffee date or after work drink because its far less risky for both of you. You are actually going to be doing a particular activity, and her presence or your being there together is secondary. It takes off all the pressure.

https://myportfolio.ac.nz/user/nora-angel/capturing-our-hearts
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http://heybradfords.com/mahara/group/view.php?id=221
The Dating Matrix provides sample phone conversations when setting up day 2’s, as well providing a checklist of how to behave and what to say. For those instances when you get a number from a girl and have not set up an activity in advance, I recommend you text. Of course if you have been reading my blog, you know I advocate texting at about a 5 to 1 ratio to making phone calls in any situation. But regardless, text game is easy to get good at, and without any in person awkwardness.
I’ve told you before about Flora who I met a few weeks ago at club Set. She was sitting on a couch with two other girls smoking a cigarette. I was at a VIP table with friends nearby and noticed her. My direct approach was (with a big smile) “You should know smoking isn’t good for you…then again, neither am I.” We began talking and after a few minutes her friend who was leaving came to grab her. I attempted to intervene but to no avail. Anyway, what follows is my text game starting the next day:
E: that must have been your first time at set…otherwise I would have seduced you a long time ago..lol…your friend was very protective…she probably knows I’m not good for you 
F: she didn’t say anything but im kinda picky…lol!
E: sweetie, I know ur picky…that’s why u picked me…lol
F: lol! Kinda like that
E: I like that u like that…but I would rather hear it in person…in very close proximity…perhaps whispered in my ear..lol..how do you like that 
F: that would be lovely!
E: good..now stop thinking about me and get back to work..lol
F: you’re such a player!
E: well I guess we know whats on ur mind..u weren’t expecting flowers were u..lol
F: never do!
E : oohhh..ur a bad girl…interesting..i could never take you home to mom 
F don’t get excited…i got rules
E: lol…ive heard that before..i seem to have this effect on women..whats the matter u don’t trust yourself around me 
F: of course I do!
E: not that I don’t think your rules will get thrown out the window…but for humors sake.. tell me a couple 
F: ha ha!
Generally, you will never catch me saying things like, “It was really nice meeting you last night” or “I think you are a very nice person”. This kind of crap begs you to be put into the friends zone. I’m not saying you have to be irreverent, but I find it helpful if you are confident with doses of humor. I always try to pick out a thread from our conversation and have a funny take on it. I also begin by assuming she knows me and never say “Hi, its Eric….we met last week at …”
Text Games are also a great way to qualify a prospective partner. If she doesn’t have a personality or sense of humor, its going to be apparent pretty quickly…
" ["link"]=> string(55) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/02/text-game.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(10274) "

Text Game - I hear so many guys complain about how difficult the initial phone call is when setting up a day 2 with a girl they just met. Having to reintroduce yourself, where you met, the awkward pauses, not knowing what to say. One way I’ve learned to remedy this is before I ask a girl for her number or contact info is to set up the date beforehand. In set, after we’ve established attraction, created rapport and are now at a point where we are sharing information about ourselves, I might say something like, “I need to hit the mall and get some new shoes. You should join me.” Or you could say, “Do you know of such and such place (a new bar, store, etc)…I heard it was really cool…I’m going to check it out with some friends this week…you should meet us.”
This is so different from asking a girl to a coffee date or after work drink because its far less risky for both of you. You are actually going to be doing a particular activity, and her presence or your being there together is secondary. It takes off all the pressure.

https://myportfolio.ac.nz/user/nora-angel/capturing-our-hearts
https://elearning.alp.dillingen.de/mahara/view/view.php?id=697
http://xahara.bcu.ac.uk/view/view.php?id=2552
http://shigra.net-learning.org/mahara/view/view.php?id=815
http://dialogos.greek-language.gr/mahara/view/view.php?id=1012
https://wpusbdc.globalclassroom.us/portal/view/view.php?id=122
http://p151303.mittwald.info/mahara/view/view.php?id=1144
http://hgiik.ru/mahara/view/view.php?id=3582
http://mahara.josekarvalho.net/view/view.php?id=1172
http://mahara.hu/mahara/view/view.php?id=9588
https://mahara.wakhok.ac.jp/view/view.php?id=339
https://listovnik.sio.si/user/alex-winston/so-far-away

http://heybradfords.com/mahara/group/view.php?id=221
The Dating Matrix provides sample phone conversations when setting up day 2’s, as well providing a checklist of how to behave and what to say. For those instances when you get a number from a girl and have not set up an activity in advance, I recommend you text. Of course if you have been reading my blog, you know I advocate texting at about a 5 to 1 ratio to making phone calls in any situation. But regardless, text game is easy to get good at, and without any in person awkwardness.
I’ve told you before about Flora who I met a few weeks ago at club Set. She was sitting on a couch with two other girls smoking a cigarette. I was at a VIP table with friends nearby and noticed her. My direct approach was (with a big smile) “You should know smoking isn’t good for you…then again, neither am I.” We began talking and after a few minutes her friend who was leaving came to grab her. I attempted to intervene but to no avail. Anyway, what follows is my text game starting the next day:
E: that must have been your first time at set…otherwise I would have seduced you a long time ago..lol…your friend was very protective…she probably knows I’m not good for you 
F: she didn’t say anything but im kinda picky…lol!
E: sweetie, I know ur picky…that’s why u picked me…lol
F: lol! Kinda like that
E: I like that u like that…but I would rather hear it in person…in very close proximity…perhaps whispered in my ear..lol..how do you like that 
F: that would be lovely!
E: good..now stop thinking about me and get back to work..lol
F: you’re such a player!
E: well I guess we know whats on ur mind..u weren’t expecting flowers were u..lol
F: never do!
E : oohhh..ur a bad girl…interesting..i could never take you home to mom 
F don’t get excited…i got rules
E: lol…ive heard that before..i seem to have this effect on women..whats the matter u don’t trust yourself around me 
F: of course I do!
E: not that I don’t think your rules will get thrown out the window…but for humors sake.. tell me a couple 
F: ha ha!
Generally, you will never catch me saying things like, “It was really nice meeting you last night” or “I think you are a very nice person”. This kind of crap begs you to be put into the friends zone. I’m not saying you have to be irreverent, but I find it helpful if you are confident with doses of humor. I always try to pick out a thread from our conversation and have a funny take on it. I also begin by assuming she knows me and never say “Hi, its Eric….we met last week at …”
Text Games are also a great way to qualify a prospective partner. If she doesn’t have a personality or sense of humor, its going to be apparent pretty quickly…
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1580823360) } [6]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-7568982650128513836" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 30 Jan 2020 10:37:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-01-30T02:37:39.421-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(19) "Craiglist Home Page" ["description"]=> string(8300) "

Some friends of mine who are still serving in the military, just returned from yet another overseas deployment. Some of us served together during the initial deployments after 9/11.
Even though it’s been over 12 years since my last overseas long term deployment, I remember it like yesterday. The feeling of never knowing how long you would be away from home….you had a general idea, but never a specific date.
https://www.are.na/stella-painfree/craiglist-personals-alternartive
https://papaly.com/categories/share?id=7718fdc73d8f49988748e38e666493f4
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/loveawakepersonals

I sent them a general message to welcome them home and to remind them that no matter when you deploy for however long, a piece of you remains there. The good and bad memories also remain. Leaving a part of your soul somewhere is the price you pay. You come home changed, and have a new perspective on the world. You appreciate things back at home and love them tenfold.
Now I reflect back on that version of myself from way back when and wonder where he went.
https://www.slidebatch.com/craiglist-dating-personals/batch/378a366f9ca053d47dfb193656243eec/craiglist-dating-personals
I’ve written about this many, many times the past year and I’m still looking for him or at least a trace of him.
I won’t revisit how bad my current project at work is. I won’t cry about the injustice of it. I’ve beaten it to death in my head, heart and caused lots of collateral damage to those close to me.
I’ve gotten advice, direct verbal assaults to deal with it…and I have to do something. Whining, complaining, crying, pouting or any other negative reactions won’t make a difference.
My loved ones both near and far worry about me and have tried repeatedly to help me find a solution.
This weekend (and Friday) I’ve had a migraine headache. (Sinus cold) But, being in constant pain has a way of beating you down some more and making you reassess things.
I have to approach tomorrow with a different view, or less of a negative one.
There is no alternative. The only thing that will happen is I get crushed even worse.
There is an end to it. No matter what happens, it will get completed. There will be more drama, complaining (by the customer) and setbacks of varying types. I have to quit coming in expecting it will be perfect, go my way…or go smoothly.
Time to bear down and make it tolerable. I have too.
I’m not sure what will happen when I go back to “The Real World” and my usual projects…but I will deal with that when it happens.
So when the project is over, completed, whatever…I can go home.
And be welcomed too.
" ["link"]=> string(65) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/01/craiglist-home-page.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(8300) "

Some friends of mine who are still serving in the military, just returned from yet another overseas deployment. Some of us served together during the initial deployments after 9/11.
Even though it’s been over 12 years since my last overseas long term deployment, I remember it like yesterday. The feeling of never knowing how long you would be away from home….you had a general idea, but never a specific date.
https://www.are.na/stella-painfree/craiglist-personals-alternartive
https://papaly.com/categories/share?id=7718fdc73d8f49988748e38e666493f4
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/loveawakepersonals

I sent them a general message to welcome them home and to remind them that no matter when you deploy for however long, a piece of you remains there. The good and bad memories also remain. Leaving a part of your soul somewhere is the price you pay. You come home changed, and have a new perspective on the world. You appreciate things back at home and love them tenfold.
Now I reflect back on that version of myself from way back when and wonder where he went.
https://www.slidebatch.com/craiglist-dating-personals/batch/378a366f9ca053d47dfb193656243eec/craiglist-dating-personals
I’ve written about this many, many times the past year and I’m still looking for him or at least a trace of him.
I won’t revisit how bad my current project at work is. I won’t cry about the injustice of it. I’ve beaten it to death in my head, heart and caused lots of collateral damage to those close to me.
I’ve gotten advice, direct verbal assaults to deal with it…and I have to do something. Whining, complaining, crying, pouting or any other negative reactions won’t make a difference.
My loved ones both near and far worry about me and have tried repeatedly to help me find a solution.
This weekend (and Friday) I’ve had a migraine headache. (Sinus cold) But, being in constant pain has a way of beating you down some more and making you reassess things.
I have to approach tomorrow with a different view, or less of a negative one.
There is no alternative. The only thing that will happen is I get crushed even worse.
There is an end to it. No matter what happens, it will get completed. There will be more drama, complaining (by the customer) and setbacks of varying types. I have to quit coming in expecting it will be perfect, go my way…or go smoothly.
Time to bear down and make it tolerable. I have too.
I’m not sure what will happen when I go back to “The Real World” and my usual projects…but I will deal with that when it happens.
So when the project is over, completed, whatever…I can go home.
And be welcomed too.
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1580380620) } [7]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-2616336757320178066" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 15 Jan 2020 14:00:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-01-15T06:00:00.451-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(29) "Public Service For Single Men" ["description"]=> string(7212) "

One year ago last week, I decided to accept a date with a Yukon guy I wasn’t sure of. Our communications had been stop and start, but they had started again and he seemed nice enough. I hedged accepting the date since he was rather short. But I wasn’t making any effort to set up dates myself anymore and I decided maybe I was being superficial anyway. So I said yes.

One year ago last weekend, I was examining his online photos. I couldn’t tell exactly what Italian single men looked like as they weren’t necessarily the best things in the world. He might have been cute or he might have been funny looking. I was hoping for cute. I was bracing for funny looking.

One year ago last weekend, I almost canceled our date and decided never to go out with Turkish male . He told me about his divorce and it hadn’t been as far away as I might have liked. I was afraid of rebounds or lingering attachments. My own healing process was still fresh in my mind. I almost called things off, but then I didn’t. What harm could one date do anyway, right?

One year ago today, I met him for brunch. We were the same height. And he was totally cute and not funny looking. I wore a top I would later learn was flashing him a bit too much cleavage when I leaned forward. He didn’t stare.

One year ago today, we were having such a good conversation over brunch that we moved downstairs to the bar area and kept talking. That date lasted about six hours. For the most part, I forgot he was short. And I wondered why I’d let our initial conversations be so stop and start.

One year ago today, I was too cautious to imagine what might come of a six hour date with a Puerto rican cute guy who was my height. I did like that he picked up the tab and walked me to my car. I liked the hug he gave me as we said goodbye. I liked that he followed up with me immediately to ask me out again. But I was too careful to imagine what might happen next.

One year ago today, I met African boy. I remember every detail of that date. I remember what we wore, what we ate, and what we drank. I remember how good the conversation was. I remember thinking maybe the height thing wasn’t so big a deal… maybe.I remember thinking he seemed pretty well adjusted about his divorce after all.  I remember looking for what would be wrong this time that would make it not work.

What I don’t remember is ever imagining that one year later we’d still be together. That height really wouldn’t be a big deal. That I would eventually be filled with hope. That we would be strong enough to overcome so many obstacles together. And yet, here we are.
What happened last week was a miscommunication. I still find hoping and believing to be difficult, and sometimes I react first and ask questions later. LC and I have done a lot of soul searching together in the past week or so. But I think it all boils down to something he said to me in the dark this last Thursday night, just before we fell asleep. Just like that, he told me his life is better because I’m in it.

One year ago today I could never have imagined how much I would love him or how much I would want to remain in his life. But today, I know. And I do. And I will. One year ago today we started something great. Here’s hoping there will be many more years of looking back at it all fondly and looking forward to what may come.
" ["link"]=> string(75) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/01/public-service-for-single-men.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(7212) "

One year ago last week, I decided to accept a date with a Yukon guy I wasn’t sure of. Our communications had been stop and start, but they had started again and he seemed nice enough. I hedged accepting the date since he was rather short. But I wasn’t making any effort to set up dates myself anymore and I decided maybe I was being superficial anyway. So I said yes.

One year ago last weekend, I was examining his online photos. I couldn’t tell exactly what Italian single men looked like as they weren’t necessarily the best things in the world. He might have been cute or he might have been funny looking. I was hoping for cute. I was bracing for funny looking.

One year ago last weekend, I almost canceled our date and decided never to go out with Turkish male . He told me about his divorce and it hadn’t been as far away as I might have liked. I was afraid of rebounds or lingering attachments. My own healing process was still fresh in my mind. I almost called things off, but then I didn’t. What harm could one date do anyway, right?

One year ago today, I met him for brunch. We were the same height. And he was totally cute and not funny looking. I wore a top I would later learn was flashing him a bit too much cleavage when I leaned forward. He didn’t stare.

One year ago today, we were having such a good conversation over brunch that we moved downstairs to the bar area and kept talking. That date lasted about six hours. For the most part, I forgot he was short. And I wondered why I’d let our initial conversations be so stop and start.

One year ago today, I was too cautious to imagine what might come of a six hour date with a Puerto rican cute guy who was my height. I did like that he picked up the tab and walked me to my car. I liked the hug he gave me as we said goodbye. I liked that he followed up with me immediately to ask me out again. But I was too careful to imagine what might happen next.

One year ago today, I met African boy. I remember every detail of that date. I remember what we wore, what we ate, and what we drank. I remember how good the conversation was. I remember thinking maybe the height thing wasn’t so big a deal… maybe.I remember thinking he seemed pretty well adjusted about his divorce after all.  I remember looking for what would be wrong this time that would make it not work.

What I don’t remember is ever imagining that one year later we’d still be together. That height really wouldn’t be a big deal. That I would eventually be filled with hope. That we would be strong enough to overcome so many obstacles together. And yet, here we are.
What happened last week was a miscommunication. I still find hoping and believing to be difficult, and sometimes I react first and ask questions later. LC and I have done a lot of soul searching together in the past week or so. But I think it all boils down to something he said to me in the dark this last Thursday night, just before we fell asleep. Just like that, he told me his life is better because I’m in it.

One year ago today I could never have imagined how much I would love him or how much I would want to remain in his life. But today, I know. And I do. And I will. One year ago today we started something great. Here’s hoping there will be many more years of looking back at it all fondly and looking forward to what may come.
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1579096800) } [8]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-4678810716996810081" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 14 Jan 2020 14:02:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-01-15T05:50:05.843-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(44) "Why make it complicated? – Backpage Dating" ["description"]=> string(5299) "

So I’m home Monday night after dinner with some friends bored because I didn’t attend a boat party I was invited to due to weather…the whole holiday weekend the weather kind of sucked her in Miami. Anyway, I start flipping channels and land on E, my favorite network for meaningful and intelligent fare, and started watching “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated.” My God, poor Charlie Sheen. This guy should get the Presidential Freedom Award for consenting to marriage with this woman…but I digress
OK, so she’s a mom two times over, has something like 10 dogs, 2 pigs, and lives with her dad-but she’s still extremely hot. Anyway, her friend sets her up with some guy she knows. The cameras roll as they go on the “blind date.” As Denise enters the bar, the dude is sitting at the bar with his back to the entrance. When he sees her, he nearly jumps out of his seat to give her a hug. But not an alpha hug, an ass out grandmother kind of hug. Very embarrassing. Ms. Complicated is looking at her friend (who is not hot by the way-just more proof that befriending not so hot chicks usually leads to hot chicks) with a bugged out look on her face like WTF?
Ok so later on in this disaster after they’re seated, the dude starts by asking her about movies he’s seen her in and then begins gushing about her co-star Matt Dillon in Wild Things. He then uses the uber clever “Did you grow up in LA?” and follows that up with “Where do you live now?” Thoughts of the Phoenix Suns a la playoff time come to mind.
It’s really incredible to me that guys with no game and no results aren’t actively searching to get the knowledge they need to become successful with women. What I saw is so so common, and so so depressing. Homey never demonstrated any evidence of organized thinking or even the slightest deference to stages of attraction, screening, or rapport building. His frame was her frame, which is essentially no frame.
When playing celebrity game, it’s especially important to control the interaction because girls like Denise will only deal with high value guys. If you don’t demonstrate alpha characteristics, such as controlling frame (not asking about her life but including her while relating value enhancing stories about yours), creating attraction by demonstrating the universal characteristics women desire, screening her by making her explain herself on those same characteristics, and then bonding over shared emotional concepts (family, independence, adventure, etc) it’s game over.
What I just described in a nutshell can be learned by anyone but give you results that put in the top 1%. Speaking of learning you can get great dating advice from my online dating coach
" ["link"]=> string(85) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/01/why-make-it-complicated-backpage-dating.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(5299) "

So I’m home Monday night after dinner with some friends bored because I didn’t attend a boat party I was invited to due to weather…the whole holiday weekend the weather kind of sucked her in Miami. Anyway, I start flipping channels and land on E, my favorite network for meaningful and intelligent fare, and started watching “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated.” My God, poor Charlie Sheen. This guy should get the Presidential Freedom Award for consenting to marriage with this woman…but I digress
OK, so she’s a mom two times over, has something like 10 dogs, 2 pigs, and lives with her dad-but she’s still extremely hot. Anyway, her friend sets her up with some guy she knows. The cameras roll as they go on the “blind date.” As Denise enters the bar, the dude is sitting at the bar with his back to the entrance. When he sees her, he nearly jumps out of his seat to give her a hug. But not an alpha hug, an ass out grandmother kind of hug. Very embarrassing. Ms. Complicated is looking at her friend (who is not hot by the way-just more proof that befriending not so hot chicks usually leads to hot chicks) with a bugged out look on her face like WTF?
Ok so later on in this disaster after they’re seated, the dude starts by asking her about movies he’s seen her in and then begins gushing about her co-star Matt Dillon in Wild Things. He then uses the uber clever “Did you grow up in LA?” and follows that up with “Where do you live now?” Thoughts of the Phoenix Suns a la playoff time come to mind.
It’s really incredible to me that guys with no game and no results aren’t actively searching to get the knowledge they need to become successful with women. What I saw is so so common, and so so depressing. Homey never demonstrated any evidence of organized thinking or even the slightest deference to stages of attraction, screening, or rapport building. His frame was her frame, which is essentially no frame.
When playing celebrity game, it’s especially important to control the interaction because girls like Denise will only deal with high value guys. If you don’t demonstrate alpha characteristics, such as controlling frame (not asking about her life but including her while relating value enhancing stories about yours), creating attraction by demonstrating the universal characteristics women desire, screening her by making her explain herself on those same characteristics, and then bonding over shared emotional concepts (family, independence, adventure, etc) it’s game over.
What I just described in a nutshell can be learned by anyone but give you results that put in the top 1%. Speaking of learning you can get great dating advice from my online dating coach
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1579010520) } [9]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-6637411368375352438" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 14 Jan 2020 13:53:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-01-14T05:53:57.513-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(43) "Life Changes – are you Afraid of Change ?" ["description"]=> string(5865) "


Are you afraid of change in your life? Do you wonder how you’re going to maintain your integrity and develop the skills to express your personality?

Do you find these two concepts in conflict?

If you wanted to learn how to golf, or skate, or drive a race car, would you have these same fears? Would you worry about internal changes that resulted in your ability to shoot par, become a professional hockey player, or drive Formula 1? The physical or technical skill is only part of the game. The internal changes are what allow you to execute those skills when you need them most.

Becoming successful with women is about becoming successful with yourself. Internal changes are part of the process. A stripping of your internal character and what you believe is not. As a Dating Coach I can provide you with the tactical skills to approach Women , open with hot girls , attract beautiful women, and date women. The bigger picture is the transformation that takes place as you evolve and find yourself in relationships with women you desire.
Managing yourself and your life with women is not built on tactical skills, but rather experience with yourself. If you have never actively dated, or found yourself in a relationship, or been intimate with a woman, how do you know how it will change you?

The idea here is to not just be able to date the women or woman you desire, but to maintain the relationship and keep her. The balance between attraction, rapport, and physical intimacy must be as dynamic as the people in the relationship…

" ["link"]=> string(83) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/01/life-changes-are-you-afraid-of-change.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(5865) "


Are you afraid of change in your life? Do you wonder how you’re going to maintain your integrity and develop the skills to express your personality?

Do you find these two concepts in conflict?

If you wanted to learn how to golf, or skate, or drive a race car, would you have these same fears? Would you worry about internal changes that resulted in your ability to shoot par, become a professional hockey player, or drive Formula 1? The physical or technical skill is only part of the game. The internal changes are what allow you to execute those skills when you need them most.

Becoming successful with women is about becoming successful with yourself. Internal changes are part of the process. A stripping of your internal character and what you believe is not. As a Dating Coach I can provide you with the tactical skills to approach Women , open with hot girls , attract beautiful women, and date women. The bigger picture is the transformation that takes place as you evolve and find yourself in relationships with women you desire.
Managing yourself and your life with women is not built on tactical skills, but rather experience with yourself. If you have never actively dated, or found yourself in a relationship, or been intimate with a woman, how do you know how it will change you?

The idea here is to not just be able to date the women or woman you desire, but to maintain the relationship and keep her. The balance between attraction, rapport, and physical intimacy must be as dynamic as the people in the relationship…

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1579009980) } [10]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-6211555909550129469" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 14 Jan 2020 13:30:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-01-14T05:30:58.429-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(14) "Learning Curve" ["description"]=> string(13374) "


Louisville Backpage
Indianapolis Backpage
Nashville Backpage
Milwaukee Backpage
Portland Backpage
Albuquerque Backpage
Washington Backpage
Colorado Springs Backpage
St.Louis Backpage

When I use to struggle with women in my life, I was completely focused on the right words to say for any given situation. If I saw a guy who was successful at approaching women and initiating with girls I always believed he must have said just the right thing to start that conversation.

As I have come to learn, however, in most cases I can’t even remember my opening line. In fact, my opening line is the result of a long chain of events of which it’s the least important item. How does this make sense?

Think about this: if you have poor body posture, aren’t dressed to capture the imagination of a woman or express yourself to attract the opposite sex, have very little social intuition and are shy or introverted, don’t believe in yourself and carry very low energy, the words you say when you do finally get near a woman are the least of your problems.

Being successful with girls is a little like being an NFL player on game day. All you see is the action for 4 quarters, but it’s what you don’t see that allows the player to be in the game. The other 6 days, the player is constantly training, dieting, practicing, studying, exercising, etc.

The rubber hits the road when you approach and initiate with a particular girl in a particular moment. But the majority of the work is done well before you get to that point. The fundamentals must be in place and practiced in order to create success. you can learn all of this from my Dating Advice website.
Can you imagine how much easier it would be if you knew when a woman was attracted to you and wanted you to come over and speak to her?

 Well, this is just one of the developments that will begin happening as you become more conscious of your own body and the image you project.

In fact, once you learn how a girl signals interest, it will be undeniable obvious to you. You will sense when she has an interest in you…without any pretext you will be aware of her cues…you will then have the confidence to approach…it will fuel your opening…and then you will be you in a conversation (executing the 4 Segments to Conversational Success, of course).
If you were to shadow me in the course of a day, you would probably think I never shut up. I engage just about every person I come across, be it a smile, saying hello, a question, or a conversation starter. Male or female. In most cases, I am simply being confident and friendly, but there are times during the day I will be attracted to a particular woman. And when this happens, nothing changes in my approach.

I probably speak to more girls in one day than many of you do in 2 weeks. The point is, interacting with strangers is a skill. And when you first meet the women of your dreams, she will be a stranger to you. You have to be good at this, and from my viewpoint, everyday is an opportunity to continue to practice and expand your skills…



" ["link"]=> string(60) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/01/learning-curve.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(13374) "


Louisville Backpage
Indianapolis Backpage
Nashville Backpage
Milwaukee Backpage
Portland Backpage
Albuquerque Backpage
Washington Backpage
Colorado Springs Backpage
St.Louis Backpage

When I use to struggle with women in my life, I was completely focused on the right words to say for any given situation. If I saw a guy who was successful at approaching women and initiating with girls I always believed he must have said just the right thing to start that conversation.

As I have come to learn, however, in most cases I can’t even remember my opening line. In fact, my opening line is the result of a long chain of events of which it’s the least important item. How does this make sense?

Think about this: if you have poor body posture, aren’t dressed to capture the imagination of a woman or express yourself to attract the opposite sex, have very little social intuition and are shy or introverted, don’t believe in yourself and carry very low energy, the words you say when you do finally get near a woman are the least of your problems.

Being successful with girls is a little like being an NFL player on game day. All you see is the action for 4 quarters, but it’s what you don’t see that allows the player to be in the game. The other 6 days, the player is constantly training, dieting, practicing, studying, exercising, etc.

The rubber hits the road when you approach and initiate with a particular girl in a particular moment. But the majority of the work is done well before you get to that point. The fundamentals must be in place and practiced in order to create success. you can learn all of this from my Dating Advice website.
Can you imagine how much easier it would be if you knew when a woman was attracted to you and wanted you to come over and speak to her?

 Well, this is just one of the developments that will begin happening as you become more conscious of your own body and the image you project.

In fact, once you learn how a girl signals interest, it will be undeniable obvious to you. You will sense when she has an interest in you…without any pretext you will be aware of her cues…you will then have the confidence to approach…it will fuel your opening…and then you will be you in a conversation (executing the 4 Segments to Conversational Success, of course).
If you were to shadow me in the course of a day, you would probably think I never shut up. I engage just about every person I come across, be it a smile, saying hello, a question, or a conversation starter. Male or female. In most cases, I am simply being confident and friendly, but there are times during the day I will be attracted to a particular woman. And when this happens, nothing changes in my approach.

I probably speak to more girls in one day than many of you do in 2 weeks. The point is, interacting with strangers is a skill. And when you first meet the women of your dreams, she will be a stranger to you. You have to be good at this, and from my viewpoint, everyday is an opportunity to continue to practice and expand your skills…



" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1579008600) } [11]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-7843113840389912076" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 14 Jan 2020 11:41:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-01-14T03:41:47.039-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(25) "Sexual Anxiety with women" ["description"]=> string(14986) "
Have you ever been on a date and simply could not summon yourself to pull the trigger? I’m talking about when you sensed the moment was right to take her hand, give her a kiss, or put your arm around her but didn’t act? This is probably the number one attraction killer there is. These are the dates women describe to their friends as “He was nice but there was no chemistry.”

https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Memphis.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Knoxville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Chattanooga.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Clarksville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Murfreesboro.html?page=91
What I find interesting is that even guys who have very little experience with women can sense when the moment is right to escalate physical intimacy.

https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Johnson-City.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Cleveland.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Cookeville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Morristown.html?page=91
What women don’t understand is why you didn’t act. A lot of women will think that you actually didn’t like them, or they did something to turn you off. Meanwhile you are furious at yourself because you really like this girl.
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Jackson.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Antioch.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Maryville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Crossville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Columbia.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Sevierville.html?page=91
Welcome to Sexual Anxiety. The result of SA is that you are unable to advance the interaction to the physical plane. The causes are many. One of the most common is your own inner game. A lot of us have been taught that sex is dirty or bad. It’s something to be done behind closed doors and not to be discussed. If we have this perception, it’s going to be mighty difficult to overwhelm it on the fly during a date and make your move. In order to successfully change, we have to deconstruct this internal belief and alter our perception that sex is not bad. It’s biological.
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Greeneville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Franklin.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Lebanon.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Gallatin.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Brentwood.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Oak-Ridge.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Sparta.html?page=91
This is one example of how I believe that inner game is the most limiting aspect and the biggest problem for guys have who are unsuccessful dating girls. Now the second part to solving this problem comes down to skill set and practice. 


https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Gatlinburg.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Cordova.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Church-Hill.html?page=91

Yes, men DO think sex is something dirty, bad and something for behind closed doors. Major taboo present here.

But, men have seem to forgotten the fact that women WANT you to take the lead. Sure, feminism yelling women should be bosses too is cool… but it’s something of the last 100 years. Meanwhile, men leading society, women and so on has been a thing for thousands and thousands of years.
The result: on a genetical level, feminism “doesn’t count” (yet) while men leading women does, because both men and women genetically expect it.
Do you realize what this means?
Women want YOU to be the one that gets physical with them first, they want you to lead… so go and lead already.
If she’s on a date with you, laughing a lot, giggling a lot, talking a lot? She’s enjoying herself and she wants to be kissed… so go for it!
Do you know those sleezy romance novels women alays eat up? In it, guy grabs girl by her hairs and passionately kisses her in the middle of the street…
Women want that in real life too! So don’t be a wuss, do something good: if you know she’s interested, stop her in the middle of the street, gently lay your hand on the back of her head and kiss her.
Won’t she be suprised Dennis? Yes she will, but it’s a pleasant surprise my friend you should take the lead more, be more dominant…


https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Smyrna.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Clinton.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Springfield.html?page=91



" ["link"]=> string(71) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/01/sexual-anxiety-with-women.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(14986) "
Have you ever been on a date and simply could not summon yourself to pull the trigger? I’m talking about when you sensed the moment was right to take her hand, give her a kiss, or put your arm around her but didn’t act? This is probably the number one attraction killer there is. These are the dates women describe to their friends as “He was nice but there was no chemistry.”

https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Memphis.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Knoxville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Chattanooga.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Clarksville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Murfreesboro.html?page=91
What I find interesting is that even guys who have very little experience with women can sense when the moment is right to escalate physical intimacy.

https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Johnson-City.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Cleveland.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Cookeville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Morristown.html?page=91
What women don’t understand is why you didn’t act. A lot of women will think that you actually didn’t like them, or they did something to turn you off. Meanwhile you are furious at yourself because you really like this girl.
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Jackson.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Antioch.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Maryville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Crossville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Columbia.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Sevierville.html?page=91
Welcome to Sexual Anxiety. The result of SA is that you are unable to advance the interaction to the physical plane. The causes are many. One of the most common is your own inner game. A lot of us have been taught that sex is dirty or bad. It’s something to be done behind closed doors and not to be discussed. If we have this perception, it’s going to be mighty difficult to overwhelm it on the fly during a date and make your move. In order to successfully change, we have to deconstruct this internal belief and alter our perception that sex is not bad. It’s biological.
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Greeneville.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Franklin.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Lebanon.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Gallatin.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Brentwood.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Oak-Ridge.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Sparta.html?page=91
This is one example of how I believe that inner game is the most limiting aspect and the biggest problem for guys have who are unsuccessful dating girls. Now the second part to solving this problem comes down to skill set and practice. 


https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Gatlinburg.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Cordova.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Church-Hill.html?page=91

Yes, men DO think sex is something dirty, bad and something for behind closed doors. Major taboo present here.

But, men have seem to forgotten the fact that women WANT you to take the lead. Sure, feminism yelling women should be bosses too is cool… but it’s something of the last 100 years. Meanwhile, men leading society, women and so on has been a thing for thousands and thousands of years.
The result: on a genetical level, feminism “doesn’t count” (yet) while men leading women does, because both men and women genetically expect it.
Do you realize what this means?
Women want YOU to be the one that gets physical with them first, they want you to lead… so go and lead already.
If she’s on a date with you, laughing a lot, giggling a lot, talking a lot? She’s enjoying herself and she wants to be kissed… so go for it!
Do you know those sleezy romance novels women alays eat up? In it, guy grabs girl by her hairs and passionately kisses her in the middle of the street…
Women want that in real life too! So don’t be a wuss, do something good: if you know she’s interested, stop her in the middle of the street, gently lay your hand on the back of her head and kiss her.
Won’t she be suprised Dennis? Yes she will, but it’s a pleasant surprise my friend you should take the lead more, be more dominant…


https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Smyrna.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Clinton.html?page=91
https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Tennessee/city-of-Springfield.html?page=91



" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1579002060) } [12]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-4681736254427276655" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 09 Jan 2020 11:36:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-01-09T03:36:40.646-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(67) "How to Pull Off the Perfect First Date At Mississippi Backpage Site" ["description"]=> string(19667) "


Let’s face it: Nothing can be quite as daunting as going on a first backpage date with the Mississippi girl of your dreams. It’s like you’re back in junior high again and you’re desperately thinking about the best ways to make a slamming good impression.

Jackson

Biloxi
Gulfport
Hattiesburg
Tupelo
Meridian
Starkville
Laurel
Oxford
Vicksburg
Philadelphia
Picayune
Columbus
McComb
Brandon
Clarksdale
Greenville
Batesville
Bay Saint Louis
Brookhaven
Olive Branch
Greenwood
Corinth
Grenada
Southaven
Pontotoc
Horn Lake
Canton


Well, fear not our fellow men. Today, we’re going to pull out all the stops to make your first date as perfect as possible. Hopefully by the end of this guide, first backpage dates won’t be too much of a rocket science.

1. Clean up nicely

Whether it’s going to be a walk in the park or a dinner for two in Momofuku Ko, dress well. Ditch the baggy pants and long shirts and just show her you can take care of yourself. Rolled up long sleeve shirts is a nice casual touch and a perfectly fitting suit is enough to sweep her off her feet. So do us all a favor and clean up nicely.

2. Ask her before taking the lead

For the most part, you’re going to be in charge but it doesn’t hurt to ask her what she wants. Although, if she does seem uneasy deciding, don’t hesitate to step up. Help her order when she’s fidgeting or foot the bill when you sense her waiting.

Just don’t appear as if you’re running the entire show. You want to make it feel like the two of you are doing this together.

3. Save the sexual compliments for later

Every decent Mississippi man should know that women are to be treated with respect. If you want to compliment her for dressing up nicely for your first backpage date, tell her she’s ‘beautiful’ instead of ‘smokin’ hot’.

If you take the right steps, who knows? Maybe that sexual compliment can be used a little later.

4. No, chivalry is NOT dead!


Yes, gender equality is at its peak but it never hurts to open the door, pull the chair or allow her to order first. If there’s one thing the ladies like, it’s old school care and mindfulness. So even if you’re dating an independent Mississippi woman, leave her the impression that you’re a gentleman.

5. Follow up… but don’t be pushy

That three-day rule is B.S. If you had an unforgettable time with her, let her know right away but remember: Don’t push it too hard. You might be squeezing too much from her just to make yourself believe you pulled it off. It should just come naturally.

That wasn’t too hard, was it? Now go out there and make us proud!
" ["link"]=> string(83) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/01/how-to-pull-off-perfect-first-date-at.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(19667) "


Let’s face it: Nothing can be quite as daunting as going on a first backpage date with the Mississippi girl of your dreams. It’s like you’re back in junior high again and you’re desperately thinking about the best ways to make a slamming good impression.

Jackson

Biloxi
Gulfport
Hattiesburg
Tupelo
Meridian
Starkville
Laurel
Oxford
Vicksburg
Philadelphia
Picayune
Columbus
McComb
Brandon
Clarksdale
Greenville
Batesville
Bay Saint Louis
Brookhaven
Olive Branch
Greenwood
Corinth
Grenada
Southaven
Pontotoc
Horn Lake
Canton


Well, fear not our fellow men. Today, we’re going to pull out all the stops to make your first date as perfect as possible. Hopefully by the end of this guide, first backpage dates won’t be too much of a rocket science.

1. Clean up nicely

Whether it’s going to be a walk in the park or a dinner for two in Momofuku Ko, dress well. Ditch the baggy pants and long shirts and just show her you can take care of yourself. Rolled up long sleeve shirts is a nice casual touch and a perfectly fitting suit is enough to sweep her off her feet. So do us all a favor and clean up nicely.

2. Ask her before taking the lead

For the most part, you’re going to be in charge but it doesn’t hurt to ask her what she wants. Although, if she does seem uneasy deciding, don’t hesitate to step up. Help her order when she’s fidgeting or foot the bill when you sense her waiting.

Just don’t appear as if you’re running the entire show. You want to make it feel like the two of you are doing this together.

3. Save the sexual compliments for later

Every decent Mississippi man should know that women are to be treated with respect. If you want to compliment her for dressing up nicely for your first backpage date, tell her she’s ‘beautiful’ instead of ‘smokin’ hot’.

If you take the right steps, who knows? Maybe that sexual compliment can be used a little later.

4. No, chivalry is NOT dead!


Yes, gender equality is at its peak but it never hurts to open the door, pull the chair or allow her to order first. If there’s one thing the ladies like, it’s old school care and mindfulness. So even if you’re dating an independent Mississippi woman, leave her the impression that you’re a gentleman.

5. Follow up… but don’t be pushy

That three-day rule is B.S. If you had an unforgettable time with her, let her know right away but remember: Don’t push it too hard. You might be squeezing too much from her just to make yourself believe you pulled it off. It should just come naturally.

That wasn’t too hard, was it? Now go out there and make us proud!
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1578569760) } [13]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-8150138759728664732" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 07 Jan 2020 13:19:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-01-07T05:19:34.699-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(20) "We’re like crystal" ["description"]=> string(5785) "
We can fall in love many times in our life. And we can also get our heart broken many times. Love can happen very quickly, when we expect it the least. And because love is quick to happen, it is also very fragile.

Once, I had a conversation with one of my high school friends about the couples we know who got together in high school. He said that we already know at that age if we’re with the right person or not. “Everything is pretty much set at that age” he said.
Anchorage Backpage  
Fairbanks dating backpages  
Wasilla backpages  
High school is probably the place where we fall in love easily and just like that, it’s over and we’re on to the next. At that age, it’s much more simple than later. Every one is single or wants to be single and there’s plenty of choice. Later, it gets a little more complicated. So, how could we know then we’re with the right person?
Back then, I was in love with one of my classmates. But I didn’t think at the time he would be the man of my life. And the truth is now, I don’t love him anymore. We changed, and we grew up. I didn’t think I could spend the rest of my life with him. This is not obvious at all.
Some say that if we think we can spend the rest of our life with the person we love, then, we know we have found the right one. But this means that we should know what kind of life we want to have in the future. In these uncertain times, it’s a difficult question to answer. But we may have an idea, though.
When I was in high school, I already knew I wanted to be a journalist. I also knew that I would never accept to be a housewife, depending only on my husband’ s financial means. I didn’t know if I wanted to get married someday, unlike some of my female classmates.
I guess it depends on what’s important to us. A friend of mine knew her man was the one when she had to spend two weeks in hospital because of a severe illness. “He was there every day and brought me a lot of books, chocolate, cupcakes,… everything I like. None of my previous boyfriends would have cared so much. I just knew I found the right guy” she said.
I guess it also depends on our ability to create an emotional bond with the one we love.

" ["link"]=> string(63) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/01/were-like-crystal.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(5785) "
We can fall in love many times in our life. And we can also get our heart broken many times. Love can happen very quickly, when we expect it the least. And because love is quick to happen, it is also very fragile.

Once, I had a conversation with one of my high school friends about the couples we know who got together in high school. He said that we already know at that age if we’re with the right person or not. “Everything is pretty much set at that age” he said.
Anchorage Backpage  
Fairbanks dating backpages  
Wasilla backpages  
High school is probably the place where we fall in love easily and just like that, it’s over and we’re on to the next. At that age, it’s much more simple than later. Every one is single or wants to be single and there’s plenty of choice. Later, it gets a little more complicated. So, how could we know then we’re with the right person?
Back then, I was in love with one of my classmates. But I didn’t think at the time he would be the man of my life. And the truth is now, I don’t love him anymore. We changed, and we grew up. I didn’t think I could spend the rest of my life with him. This is not obvious at all.
Some say that if we think we can spend the rest of our life with the person we love, then, we know we have found the right one. But this means that we should know what kind of life we want to have in the future. In these uncertain times, it’s a difficult question to answer. But we may have an idea, though.
When I was in high school, I already knew I wanted to be a journalist. I also knew that I would never accept to be a housewife, depending only on my husband’ s financial means. I didn’t know if I wanted to get married someday, unlike some of my female classmates.
I guess it depends on what’s important to us. A friend of mine knew her man was the one when she had to spend two weeks in hospital because of a severe illness. “He was there every day and brought me a lot of books, chocolate, cupcakes,… everything I like. None of my previous boyfriends would have cared so much. I just knew I found the right guy” she said.
I guess it also depends on our ability to create an emotional bond with the one we love.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1578403140) } [14]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-7379800223546650170" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 06 Jan 2020 16:51:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2020-01-06T08:53:21.611-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(20) "Backpage Gift Giving" ["description"]=> string(13430) "


It’s the holiday season, and I’m sure most of us have spent the last few weeks scouring shops and websites in hopes of finding the perfect present that will undoubtedly light up the face of a loved one come Christmas Day. Gifts of all sizes are wrapped in pretty paper and adorned with ribbons and bows, and tucked under a warmly glowing tree for safe keeping, until the day arrives when they get to do their job: make someone’s day. Gift-giving has undoubtedly been on many minds these last few weeks, and I’ve seen no shortage of wishlists floating around the blogosphere – but today, I want to address something else related to gifts: those which were given to us at birth.
Related :Montreal Backpage
In some way or another, we are all gifted. Some of us are fantastic listeners, great writers, artists, or musicians. Some of us understand chemicals and equations, or the inner workings of technology, and some of us are born to sing or spread a message throughout the world. Some of us are born to be on the stage, and some of us allow our imaginations to soar onto the pages of books published by the million, working their way into the hearts of a generation. Let’s think about that for a second – because there are so many of us out there who’ve written about hopes and dreams and secret passions, yet used fear and excuses to not explore and develop them. “But what if I’m not good enough?” has become something of a mantra throughout the Backpage collective consciousness, resulting in thousands of potential gifts being locked up and hidden away, quashing any potential in the slightest they could have to make this world or someone’s life that little bit better.

Related: Toronto Backpage

I received an e-mail recently from a man whose story I was lucky enough to hear last summer, Patrick Combs. He had an interesting point about worldwide phenomenon Stephenie Meyer*, the biggest selling author of the last two years: she almost didn’t submit Twilight to publishers because she thought her writing wasn’t good enough. [Pause.] Potential irony aside, clearly by taking a leap of faith in offering her gift to the world, she found her calling, made millions, and won over the teenage masses with tales of angst fantasy, romance and adventure. What if dear old J.K. had never allowed Harry Potter to see the light of day? What if she continued to write on trains and in coffee shops, and kept the stories bound in paper journals, only ever given to her children and perhaps a few friends? By choosing to give her gift to the Backpage, she helped a generation move away from their Playstations and fall in love with reading all over again. Patrick had further interesting points:
Five years ago I had a strong sense that I wanted to be a speaker and I became one. But now I’m back to wondering what I should TRULY be doing with my life, and now the ‘What to do with my life?’ question seems more important than ever. First off, the panic I’ve felt this week stems from a deep seated fear: Fear of missing my calling.
Wouldn’t it be awful to miss your calling? What could be worse? Also, I’m certain that “success” isn’t what I’m after. Simply reaching the top is not what I’m out to do. I’m out to give the gift I was meant to give – whether doing so ultimately makes me rich, middle class, or poor. Famous, notable, or unknown. Getting to the top of your Backpagefield can’t be as important as becoming what you were put on the planet to become. Fulfilling your calling has to be the peak of the pyramid. Giving your gift – the one gift you can and were born to give – must be the ticket.

Related : Winsdor Backpage

I’ve seen countless people going through their lives – myself very much included – being held back by feelings of inadequacy. I believe we were all given gifts the day we were born, and we are all drawn toward certain interests, hobbies and passions so we can tap into them, open them up, and give them to the world. Yet so often, they are held hostage, hidden away untouched and unused, and never given the opportunity to shine.
Related : Hamilton Backpage
As I’d mentioned, I’ve seen a lot of wishlists floating around in the last few weeks leading up to Christmas. TV boxsets, makeup, gadgets, and mp3 players may result in a smile for a few days, but they are all temporal. Why not choose ones that could last a lifetime? We’ve all had great Christmas presents, and we’ve all had one or two pretty rubbish ones. Why is it that when it comes to a Backpage Christmas gift, we don’t hesitate in going straight back to Best Buy on Boxing Day to exchange it for something better, yet when it comes to the gifts we’re given in our very souls, we’re perfectly content to accept the useless (fear, anxiety, and self-doubt), and refuse to enjoy the brilliant?  On my wishlist this year, I want to open the great gifts. The ones I want to someday offer to the world through compassion, song, speech and written word. I want to make the choice to accept and recognize them instead of settling for a cheap, half-hearted knock-off tainted by what I’ve settled for for so long.

Related : Winnipeg Backpage

This Christmas, in the spirit of gift-giving, ask yourself if you’re ready to give yours. Follow those passions and release those fears, do what feels comes naturally, and go after what makes you bubble with enthusiasm. Cultivate your talents, listen to your dreams, and follow your heart. You never know whose Christmas you might end up making the best yet.
* While we’re on the subject of Twilight… (I’m sorry  )

" ["link"]=> string(57) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2020/01/gift-giving.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(13430) "


It’s the holiday season, and I’m sure most of us have spent the last few weeks scouring shops and websites in hopes of finding the perfect present that will undoubtedly light up the face of a loved one come Christmas Day. Gifts of all sizes are wrapped in pretty paper and adorned with ribbons and bows, and tucked under a warmly glowing tree for safe keeping, until the day arrives when they get to do their job: make someone’s day. Gift-giving has undoubtedly been on many minds these last few weeks, and I’ve seen no shortage of wishlists floating around the blogosphere – but today, I want to address something else related to gifts: those which were given to us at birth.
Related :Montreal Backpage
In some way or another, we are all gifted. Some of us are fantastic listeners, great writers, artists, or musicians. Some of us understand chemicals and equations, or the inner workings of technology, and some of us are born to sing or spread a message throughout the world. Some of us are born to be on the stage, and some of us allow our imaginations to soar onto the pages of books published by the million, working their way into the hearts of a generation. Let’s think about that for a second – because there are so many of us out there who’ve written about hopes and dreams and secret passions, yet used fear and excuses to not explore and develop them. “But what if I’m not good enough?” has become something of a mantra throughout the Backpage collective consciousness, resulting in thousands of potential gifts being locked up and hidden away, quashing any potential in the slightest they could have to make this world or someone’s life that little bit better.

Related: Toronto Backpage

I received an e-mail recently from a man whose story I was lucky enough to hear last summer, Patrick Combs. He had an interesting point about worldwide phenomenon Stephenie Meyer*, the biggest selling author of the last two years: she almost didn’t submit Twilight to publishers because she thought her writing wasn’t good enough. [Pause.] Potential irony aside, clearly by taking a leap of faith in offering her gift to the world, she found her calling, made millions, and won over the teenage masses with tales of angst fantasy, romance and adventure. What if dear old J.K. had never allowed Harry Potter to see the light of day? What if she continued to write on trains and in coffee shops, and kept the stories bound in paper journals, only ever given to her children and perhaps a few friends? By choosing to give her gift to the Backpage, she helped a generation move away from their Playstations and fall in love with reading all over again. Patrick had further interesting points:
Five years ago I had a strong sense that I wanted to be a speaker and I became one. But now I’m back to wondering what I should TRULY be doing with my life, and now the ‘What to do with my life?’ question seems more important than ever. First off, the panic I’ve felt this week stems from a deep seated fear: Fear of missing my calling.
Wouldn’t it be awful to miss your calling? What could be worse? Also, I’m certain that “success” isn’t what I’m after. Simply reaching the top is not what I’m out to do. I’m out to give the gift I was meant to give – whether doing so ultimately makes me rich, middle class, or poor. Famous, notable, or unknown. Getting to the top of your Backpagefield can’t be as important as becoming what you were put on the planet to become. Fulfilling your calling has to be the peak of the pyramid. Giving your gift – the one gift you can and were born to give – must be the ticket.

Related : Winsdor Backpage

I’ve seen countless people going through their lives – myself very much included – being held back by feelings of inadequacy. I believe we were all given gifts the day we were born, and we are all drawn toward certain interests, hobbies and passions so we can tap into them, open them up, and give them to the world. Yet so often, they are held hostage, hidden away untouched and unused, and never given the opportunity to shine.
Related : Hamilton Backpage
As I’d mentioned, I’ve seen a lot of wishlists floating around in the last few weeks leading up to Christmas. TV boxsets, makeup, gadgets, and mp3 players may result in a smile for a few days, but they are all temporal. Why not choose ones that could last a lifetime? We’ve all had great Christmas presents, and we’ve all had one or two pretty rubbish ones. Why is it that when it comes to a Backpage Christmas gift, we don’t hesitate in going straight back to Best Buy on Boxing Day to exchange it for something better, yet when it comes to the gifts we’re given in our very souls, we’re perfectly content to accept the useless (fear, anxiety, and self-doubt), and refuse to enjoy the brilliant?  On my wishlist this year, I want to open the great gifts. The ones I want to someday offer to the world through compassion, song, speech and written word. I want to make the choice to accept and recognize them instead of settling for a cheap, half-hearted knock-off tainted by what I’ve settled for for so long.

Related : Winnipeg Backpage

This Christmas, in the spirit of gift-giving, ask yourself if you’re ready to give yours. Follow those passions and release those fears, do what feels comes naturally, and go after what makes you bubble with enthusiasm. Cultivate your talents, listen to your dreams, and follow your heart. You never know whose Christmas you might end up making the best yet.
* While we’re on the subject of Twilight… (I’m sorry  )

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1578329460) } [15]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-7289797608464357966" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 27 Dec 2019 16:17:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2019-12-27T08:19:49.989-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(33) "A Vicious Vermont Backpage Cycle!" ["description"]=> string(14600) "


So as you all know I had a silly little accident not too long ago which has resulted in a lot of missed work and grandma-like manoeuvres. I’ve had to come in to work this week because I can’t afford to take any more time off. I looked into E. I. only to find there’s a minimum wait time of a month before you can even see the remote possibility of assistance on the backpage, plus you have to send in all sorts of paperwork proving you’ve lost 40% or more of your income. I’ll be back to normal in a month (I hope)! What good is it going to do me then? Oh, but the good news is, as I found out yesterday, my online dating backpage application was successfully reviewed and I’ll be able to start using the benefit system on September 1. Sorry, did that say September 1? Honestly? Yes? Okay, sounds GREAT, because I’m sure all this can wait six months.



But it may very well have to do just that at the rate things are going. Onto my point. As of right now, I’ve been to a Vermont physiotherapist, who’s strongly suggested further medical tests (MRI/CT scans etc.) before commencing any kind of treatment, and to see my backpage as well. There’s a 4 WEEK wait list to get into my dating coach. Which brings me onto the bottom line of a ridiculous situation. In the past, I’ve been on prescriptions that are simple, recurring, and need to be refilled every month. Simply calling the online dating sites and ordering a refill is usually the way to go, but after 6 months or so, they have to call your GP to see if it’s okay to keep refilling. I guess something changed, because now a phone call isn’t good enough – you have to GO AND SEE THE GP IN PERSON so he can write you another note for the exact same thing you’ve been doing for the last year. Why does it take so long to get in to see doctors in this city? Because they’re so bloody busy making Vermont people come all the way down to write them repeat prescriptions for things they could easily do over the phone!
I don’t understand the system. I really don’t. Online dating backpage – if my application’s been successful and I’ve willingly given you permission to take money from me every month, why do I have to wait 6 months before I can get any kind of coverage? General practitioners, look at your situation. You’re run off your feet all day and your patients are ending up for 4-hour trips to walk-in Vermont clinics because your days are full of people coming back for things a simple phone call could take care of. Efficiency Vermont people, efficiency…
There would definitely be a head-desk moment here if I could move my neck that way. :P
" ["link"]=> string(70) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2019/12/a-vicious-backpage-cycle.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(14600) "


So as you all know I had a silly little accident not too long ago which has resulted in a lot of missed work and grandma-like manoeuvres. I’ve had to come in to work this week because I can’t afford to take any more time off. I looked into E. I. only to find there’s a minimum wait time of a month before you can even see the remote possibility of assistance on the backpage, plus you have to send in all sorts of paperwork proving you’ve lost 40% or more of your income. I’ll be back to normal in a month (I hope)! What good is it going to do me then? Oh, but the good news is, as I found out yesterday, my online dating backpage application was successfully reviewed and I’ll be able to start using the benefit system on September 1. Sorry, did that say September 1? Honestly? Yes? Okay, sounds GREAT, because I’m sure all this can wait six months.



But it may very well have to do just that at the rate things are going. Onto my point. As of right now, I’ve been to a Vermont physiotherapist, who’s strongly suggested further medical tests (MRI/CT scans etc.) before commencing any kind of treatment, and to see my backpage as well. There’s a 4 WEEK wait list to get into my dating coach. Which brings me onto the bottom line of a ridiculous situation. In the past, I’ve been on prescriptions that are simple, recurring, and need to be refilled every month. Simply calling the online dating sites and ordering a refill is usually the way to go, but after 6 months or so, they have to call your GP to see if it’s okay to keep refilling. I guess something changed, because now a phone call isn’t good enough – you have to GO AND SEE THE GP IN PERSON so he can write you another note for the exact same thing you’ve been doing for the last year. Why does it take so long to get in to see doctors in this city? Because they’re so bloody busy making Vermont people come all the way down to write them repeat prescriptions for things they could easily do over the phone!
I don’t understand the system. I really don’t. Online dating backpage – if my application’s been successful and I’ve willingly given you permission to take money from me every month, why do I have to wait 6 months before I can get any kind of coverage? General practitioners, look at your situation. You’re run off your feet all day and your patients are ending up for 4-hour trips to walk-in Vermont clinics because your days are full of people coming back for things a simple phone call could take care of. Efficiency Vermont people, efficiency…
There would definitely be a head-desk moment here if I could move my neck that way. :P
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1577463420) } [16]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(67) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-763091831794729601" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 26 Dec 2019 18:51:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2019-12-26T10:51:44.873-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(13) "Oh, Backpages" ["description"]=> string(4993) "

I decided to entitle this post as above because I haven’t written in a good few weeks and I know what’s about to come may very well be pretty lengthy. I’ve got so much ground to cover it’s ridiculous, and I usually do an “end of year” post, but being away over the new year made that slightly difficult so I’m going to attempt to cram everything from the last few weeks into this post. Grab a cup of tea.
Let’s start with Christmas. I can pretty much say this was the best Christmas I’ve ever had in my entire life. It all took place between Christmas Eve and Boxing Day (as Christmas tends to), and involved playing fun games with one side of the boy’s family, my first Catholic Christmas service (which involved a beautiful communal rendition of ‘Silent Night’ in a pitch dark church), seeing my own family (and playing Rock Band with my little brother who I talk to maybe five times a year), and meeting the entire extended French-Italian other side of Sweet’s family all for the very first time. I’m just glad I know enough French to be able to understand what’s going on – there was probably over 50 people there for an enormous Italian feast out in the country, and it was quite the evening!
https://ccconlineed.instructure.com/eportfolios/2245/_/How_sweet_the_sound_of_Dating_Backpages
https://msdlt.instructure.com/eportfolios/661/_/This_is_your_Backpage_Chance_are_you_who_you_want_to_date_online
https://ki.instructure.com/eportfolios/297/Hem/The_Backpages_will_fix_it
https://middlebury.instructure.com/eportfolios/356/_/Find_yourself_at_Alaskan_Backpages
https://scccd.instructure.com/eportfolios/1401/_/Hakim_Craptical_Backpages
https://scps.instructure.com/eportfolios/31806/_/Back_to_Backpages_please
https://training.instructure.com/eportfolios/62626/Home/A_little_perspective_on_Alaskan_Backpages
https://uen.instructure.com/eportfolios/39178/_/Alaskan_Online_Backpages_reinspired

" ["link"]=> string(58) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2019/12/oh-backpages.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(4993) "

I decided to entitle this post as above because I haven’t written in a good few weeks and I know what’s about to come may very well be pretty lengthy. I’ve got so much ground to cover it’s ridiculous, and I usually do an “end of year” post, but being away over the new year made that slightly difficult so I’m going to attempt to cram everything from the last few weeks into this post. Grab a cup of tea.
Let’s start with Christmas. I can pretty much say this was the best Christmas I’ve ever had in my entire life. It all took place between Christmas Eve and Boxing Day (as Christmas tends to), and involved playing fun games with one side of the boy’s family, my first Catholic Christmas service (which involved a beautiful communal rendition of ‘Silent Night’ in a pitch dark church), seeing my own family (and playing Rock Band with my little brother who I talk to maybe five times a year), and meeting the entire extended French-Italian other side of Sweet’s family all for the very first time. I’m just glad I know enough French to be able to understand what’s going on – there was probably over 50 people there for an enormous Italian feast out in the country, and it was quite the evening!
https://ccconlineed.instructure.com/eportfolios/2245/_/How_sweet_the_sound_of_Dating_Backpages
https://msdlt.instructure.com/eportfolios/661/_/This_is_your_Backpage_Chance_are_you_who_you_want_to_date_online
https://ki.instructure.com/eportfolios/297/Hem/The_Backpages_will_fix_it
https://middlebury.instructure.com/eportfolios/356/_/Find_yourself_at_Alaskan_Backpages
https://scccd.instructure.com/eportfolios/1401/_/Hakim_Craptical_Backpages
https://scps.instructure.com/eportfolios/31806/_/Back_to_Backpages_please
https://training.instructure.com/eportfolios/62626/Home/A_little_perspective_on_Alaskan_Backpages
https://uen.instructure.com/eportfolios/39178/_/Alaskan_Online_Backpages_reinspired

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1577386260) } [17]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-9048833112028726892" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 26 Dec 2019 13:55:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2019-12-26T05:56:34.711-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(56) "Some days, I’m extra proud to be a Belize Single Woman" ["description"]=> string(8495) "

This weekend, I did something I haven’t done for what feels like at least a year.  And I did it two nights running.  Belize Ladies and gentlemen, this Friday and Saturday, I went to the cinema.  In a world of video piracy and mass filesharing; actually deciding to go out and spend $20 on a film where you may get kicked in the back of your seat multiple times (and may end up hating anyway) hasn’t really been top of my list on a Friday night.  But this weekend, Sweet and I went for a couple of good old fashioned Bezlize dates.  Friday, I got to pick.  I scanned the Belize Free Press and landed on the one that I knew nothing about other than the fact it got numerous five star reviews from pretty reputable places, and it was written by Nick Hornby.
An Education held a lot of promise – a great cast (including Carey Mulligan of recent Doctor Who fame, the bad guy off of Flightplan, and Emma Thompson, who I’ve always loved dearly.  It was a nice enough story set in ‘60s England, about a girl with a strong academic background who meets a glamourous older chap, who takes her to Paris, proposes marriage and encourages her to give up school.  Relatively low-key, slightly underwhelming (the “bad guy” doesn’t even turn into a online dating psycho stalker, and after dropping out of Belize school she still ends up with a place at Oxford), but nice nonetheless.
But then we decided to do online dating all over again.  Saturday afternoon, like the old people at heart we truly are, we grabbed a couple of toonies and hit the cheap seats, where we opted for District 9.  I’d read a bit about it when it came out a few months ago; from what I knew, Peter Jackson had gone off to South Africa to film a Halo-based movie, but something had gone wrong with copyrights and that sort of thing, and he’d done a different movie instead.  What resulted was what I can only say was THE single best sci-fi movie I have ever seen in my LIFE, and for the next couple of weeks I request you ALL go and catch this before it leaves the big screens.
It was incredible.  With sci-fi movies (and television), my general experience is that big blockbusters with lots of special effects and generic good guys vs. bad aliens formulas have always won over mass audiences, while more “intellectual” storylines in Star Trek and X Files episodes are the nerd armies’ best kept secret.  Sci-fi that makes you think is generally thought of as “for the geeks” or turned into a cult classic, never reigning the box office or drawing in a nation on a Saturday night.   District 9 may just change everything.  It’s comparatively low budget ($30 million) to other recent sci-fi movie endeavours (Transformers 2 had $380 million to play with), and cast with a bunch of no-names whose lead actor has never before graced the screen.  There’s no outer-space warfare, or journeys to other planets, and the only things getting blown up leave you questioning your morality with a sense of enormous discomfort.
I’m not going to tell you what happens in the movie.  They cleverly omitted the major plotline from the trailer, which made for enormous surprise, and I think with good reason.  But I’ve never seen anything like this.  This is a heart-wrenching, thought-provoking political commentary, which, unusually, paints us as the bad Bezlize guys.  It will tug and tear at your emotions as you feel for computer-generated characters who don’t actually exist, don’t render any sort of human facial expressions, and don’t speak.  You’ll fall in love with these characters based on nothing but subtitles, which in my mind, says a hell of a lot about the quality of the script.   This film is stunningly original and can easily put a good number of larger blockbusters to shame with its performance, intelligence, emotion and imagination.  It’s pretty gory, and I was definitely rather uncomfortable at several points, but anything that causes such a reaction based on raising questions of our capability to be so inhumane is fully justified. Plus, I’m a Bezlize girl. I get squeamish pretty easily.  But I’ve never been so moved by what initially looked like such a boys’ movie.  I’ve never seen anything so action-packed and at the same time so reflective, so soulful, and so emotional.  I’ve never been prouder to be a sci-fi geek.  Bring on District 10.  I’ll be one of the thousands queuing up for advance tickets that’ll sell out faster than any Star Wars movie in box office history.
" ["link"]=> string(83) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2019/12/some-days-im-extra-proud-to-be-belize.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(8495) "

This weekend, I did something I haven’t done for what feels like at least a year.  And I did it two nights running.  Belize Ladies and gentlemen, this Friday and Saturday, I went to the cinema.  In a world of video piracy and mass filesharing; actually deciding to go out and spend $20 on a film where you may get kicked in the back of your seat multiple times (and may end up hating anyway) hasn’t really been top of my list on a Friday night.  But this weekend, Sweet and I went for a couple of good old fashioned Bezlize dates.  Friday, I got to pick.  I scanned the Belize Free Press and landed on the one that I knew nothing about other than the fact it got numerous five star reviews from pretty reputable places, and it was written by Nick Hornby.
An Education held a lot of promise – a great cast (including Carey Mulligan of recent Doctor Who fame, the bad guy off of Flightplan, and Emma Thompson, who I’ve always loved dearly.  It was a nice enough story set in ‘60s England, about a girl with a strong academic background who meets a glamourous older chap, who takes her to Paris, proposes marriage and encourages her to give up school.  Relatively low-key, slightly underwhelming (the “bad guy” doesn’t even turn into a online dating psycho stalker, and after dropping out of Belize school she still ends up with a place at Oxford), but nice nonetheless.
But then we decided to do online dating all over again.  Saturday afternoon, like the old people at heart we truly are, we grabbed a couple of toonies and hit the cheap seats, where we opted for District 9.  I’d read a bit about it when it came out a few months ago; from what I knew, Peter Jackson had gone off to South Africa to film a Halo-based movie, but something had gone wrong with copyrights and that sort of thing, and he’d done a different movie instead.  What resulted was what I can only say was THE single best sci-fi movie I have ever seen in my LIFE, and for the next couple of weeks I request you ALL go and catch this before it leaves the big screens.
It was incredible.  With sci-fi movies (and television), my general experience is that big blockbusters with lots of special effects and generic good guys vs. bad aliens formulas have always won over mass audiences, while more “intellectual” storylines in Star Trek and X Files episodes are the nerd armies’ best kept secret.  Sci-fi that makes you think is generally thought of as “for the geeks” or turned into a cult classic, never reigning the box office or drawing in a nation on a Saturday night.   District 9 may just change everything.  It’s comparatively low budget ($30 million) to other recent sci-fi movie endeavours (Transformers 2 had $380 million to play with), and cast with a bunch of no-names whose lead actor has never before graced the screen.  There’s no outer-space warfare, or journeys to other planets, and the only things getting blown up leave you questioning your morality with a sense of enormous discomfort.
I’m not going to tell you what happens in the movie.  They cleverly omitted the major plotline from the trailer, which made for enormous surprise, and I think with good reason.  But I’ve never seen anything like this.  This is a heart-wrenching, thought-provoking political commentary, which, unusually, paints us as the bad Bezlize guys.  It will tug and tear at your emotions as you feel for computer-generated characters who don’t actually exist, don’t render any sort of human facial expressions, and don’t speak.  You’ll fall in love with these characters based on nothing but subtitles, which in my mind, says a hell of a lot about the quality of the script.   This film is stunningly original and can easily put a good number of larger blockbusters to shame with its performance, intelligence, emotion and imagination.  It’s pretty gory, and I was definitely rather uncomfortable at several points, but anything that causes such a reaction based on raising questions of our capability to be so inhumane is fully justified. Plus, I’m a Bezlize girl. I get squeamish pretty easily.  But I’ve never been so moved by what initially looked like such a boys’ movie.  I’ve never seen anything so action-packed and at the same time so reflective, so soulful, and so emotional.  I’ve never been prouder to be a sci-fi geek.  Bring on District 10.  I’ll be one of the thousands queuing up for advance tickets that’ll sell out faster than any Star Wars movie in box office history.
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1577368500) } [18]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-8813782281794768878" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 26 Dec 2019 10:58:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2019-12-26T02:58:45.681-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(51) "Online Dating with Single Men vs. Single Life Alone" ["description"]=> string(10813) "

I’m really lucky to work in an office with three lovely Swedish men I get along with so well.  We chat, we vent, we motivate each other with our goals and we get together at lunchtime to watch British TV on our computers.  They’ve become great Spanish men friends, and yesterday, I was chatting with one of them about the idea of dating Australian men versus feeling the need to prove yourself. 
Our organization is really great for putting people in roles they’re best suited for; I quickly moved into a position where I’m in charge of creating and booking all advertising and marketing material, as well as doing a fair bit of writing, whether for radio scripts, our Greek guys website or people’s resumes.  I enjoy all these tasks, and after our “achieve your dreams” – themed retreat last year, I told my boss I wanted to challenge myself and start teaching.  
My wish was granted – the thought absolutely terrified me, but I was on a mission to overcome my anxiety and push myself out of my comfort zone.  I wanted to get my confidence back and stop being afraid.  So I was given one class every week.  These people saw past the fear and doubt and trusted me to develop a curriculum and actually deliver the information to Portugal men.  I’ve been doing it for a few months now, and yes, it’s become easier – I no longer get butterflies if I have to speak up in a meeting, and I can go into my little classroom and feel comfortable presenting my information, because I’ve had practice, and I remind myself I’m here to help these people.  I’m leaps and bounds from where I was, and I’m incredibly grateful to have been given the opportunity to grow. 
But yesterday I came to a realisation. I had to give a presentation to a much larger Norway men personals – and not just students, but other service providers.  Really Important People from across the province were coming to learn about what we did, and it was my job to represent us well.  I totally freaked out.  There were going to be twice the number of people I was used to, and the information wasn’t something I knew inside and out.  They weren’t coming in wearing jeans and hoodies, they were coming in wearing suits, armed with sophisticated haircuts and business cards.  This wasn’t my own little room, it was a big intimidating boardroom.  I was so far out of my comfort zone I panicked – and ended up asking someone else to do it.  For the first time in months I hit something too difficult.  All I’ve done so far in overcoming my anxiety has been little steps; small victories that have left me feeling that little bit more confident.  But this I couldn’t do.  
My current position is a term one that’s supposed to end in March, and the original plan was for me to go back to reception.  My thoughts: not going to happen.  Not to toot my own horn, but I can do a heck of a lot more than answer phones and make photocopies.  On top of the issue with the online dating and the back stuff I need to do throughout the day, I can’t do it.  So a few weeks ago, my wonderful boss and I had a little chat about The Future, and she told me, as long as we get funding (we’re a government-funded non-profit), there will most likely be a new position I can go into, involving all the same advertising and marketing stuff I’m doing now, as well as “more facilitation”. 
Yesterday, this got to me.  I’m incredibly grateful for everything they’ve done for me here, and I feel like since I asked for the opportunity to facilitate in the first place, I couldn’t really say I couldn’t do it.  They’re making a whole new position for me!  What sort of ungrateful cow would I be if I said I couldn’t do it?!  But I got thinking about the idea of putting Icelandic single guys roles that play to their strengths.  I’ve tried teaching, and though I’ve got a little bit better, it’s definitely not a strength.  I don’t think I’ll ever develop a love for being in the spotlight in front of people, and I don’t want to go to a job stressing out and being afraid to step into a classroom every day.  The experience has helped me immensely in terms of becoming more confident and less afraid, but it’s not a strength.  My strengths are in behind-the-scenes stuff.  I’m quietly opinionated and creative.  I love to write, and I love to design.  I could type for England.  I thrive in the sort of role I have now.  But I had to decide what was more important to me – proving to myself and the company that I was fully capable of being a facilitator (and forever being uncomfortable), or playing to my strengths?  
They say if you put someone in a position that doesn’t involve an inherent strength, they can learn – but they’ll never do as well as somebody who’s naturally good at it.  But if you put that person in a position that plays to their natural talents, they’ll excel.  A few months ago I heard this, and started questioning why I wanted to facilitate in the first date.  I think it was to put myself out of my comfort zone, and prove to myself I could do something I wanted to be able to so badly.  But it hasn’t developed into something I’m good at, and yesterday, my coworker and I were chatting about the importance of playing to your strengths versus proving yourself.
I started to worry, and had to email my Romanian man asking what was meant by “more” facilitation.  What if it meant more people? Bigger classes, bigger chances to fail??  Maybe it meant “more often”.  I could deal with that – small groups, a few more times in the week would be okay.  I went home worrying about what I’d got myself into, and arrived back at the office in the morning to find an email from my boss. 
“Facilitation would be a small part of the position – and it would just be more small groups similar to what you’re doing now.  Don’t even THINK about work on your vacation!!!!”
So it looks like I’m going to get to keep the majority of my position – and the scary part doesn’t seem quite so scary after all.  If anything, it’s another small step in moving forward.  And it’s just the relief I needed before heading off next week.
" ["link"]=> string(85) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2019/12/online-dating-with-single-men-vs-single.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(10813) "

I’m really lucky to work in an office with three lovely Swedish men I get along with so well.  We chat, we vent, we motivate each other with our goals and we get together at lunchtime to watch British TV on our computers.  They’ve become great Spanish men friends, and yesterday, I was chatting with one of them about the idea of dating Australian men versus feeling the need to prove yourself. 
Our organization is really great for putting people in roles they’re best suited for; I quickly moved into a position where I’m in charge of creating and booking all advertising and marketing material, as well as doing a fair bit of writing, whether for radio scripts, our Greek guys website or people’s resumes.  I enjoy all these tasks, and after our “achieve your dreams” – themed retreat last year, I told my boss I wanted to challenge myself and start teaching.  
My wish was granted – the thought absolutely terrified me, but I was on a mission to overcome my anxiety and push myself out of my comfort zone.  I wanted to get my confidence back and stop being afraid.  So I was given one class every week.  These people saw past the fear and doubt and trusted me to develop a curriculum and actually deliver the information to Portugal men.  I’ve been doing it for a few months now, and yes, it’s become easier – I no longer get butterflies if I have to speak up in a meeting, and I can go into my little classroom and feel comfortable presenting my information, because I’ve had practice, and I remind myself I’m here to help these people.  I’m leaps and bounds from where I was, and I’m incredibly grateful to have been given the opportunity to grow. 
But yesterday I came to a realisation. I had to give a presentation to a much larger Norway men personals – and not just students, but other service providers.  Really Important People from across the province were coming to learn about what we did, and it was my job to represent us well.  I totally freaked out.  There were going to be twice the number of people I was used to, and the information wasn’t something I knew inside and out.  They weren’t coming in wearing jeans and hoodies, they were coming in wearing suits, armed with sophisticated haircuts and business cards.  This wasn’t my own little room, it was a big intimidating boardroom.  I was so far out of my comfort zone I panicked – and ended up asking someone else to do it.  For the first time in months I hit something too difficult.  All I’ve done so far in overcoming my anxiety has been little steps; small victories that have left me feeling that little bit more confident.  But this I couldn’t do.  
My current position is a term one that’s supposed to end in March, and the original plan was for me to go back to reception.  My thoughts: not going to happen.  Not to toot my own horn, but I can do a heck of a lot more than answer phones and make photocopies.  On top of the issue with the online dating and the back stuff I need to do throughout the day, I can’t do it.  So a few weeks ago, my wonderful boss and I had a little chat about The Future, and she told me, as long as we get funding (we’re a government-funded non-profit), there will most likely be a new position I can go into, involving all the same advertising and marketing stuff I’m doing now, as well as “more facilitation”. 
Yesterday, this got to me.  I’m incredibly grateful for everything they’ve done for me here, and I feel like since I asked for the opportunity to facilitate in the first place, I couldn’t really say I couldn’t do it.  They’re making a whole new position for me!  What sort of ungrateful cow would I be if I said I couldn’t do it?!  But I got thinking about the idea of putting Icelandic single guys roles that play to their strengths.  I’ve tried teaching, and though I’ve got a little bit better, it’s definitely not a strength.  I don’t think I’ll ever develop a love for being in the spotlight in front of people, and I don’t want to go to a job stressing out and being afraid to step into a classroom every day.  The experience has helped me immensely in terms of becoming more confident and less afraid, but it’s not a strength.  My strengths are in behind-the-scenes stuff.  I’m quietly opinionated and creative.  I love to write, and I love to design.  I could type for England.  I thrive in the sort of role I have now.  But I had to decide what was more important to me – proving to myself and the company that I was fully capable of being a facilitator (and forever being uncomfortable), or playing to my strengths?  
They say if you put someone in a position that doesn’t involve an inherent strength, they can learn – but they’ll never do as well as somebody who’s naturally good at it.  But if you put that person in a position that plays to their natural talents, they’ll excel.  A few months ago I heard this, and started questioning why I wanted to facilitate in the first date.  I think it was to put myself out of my comfort zone, and prove to myself I could do something I wanted to be able to so badly.  But it hasn’t developed into something I’m good at, and yesterday, my coworker and I were chatting about the importance of playing to your strengths versus proving yourself.
I started to worry, and had to email my Romanian man asking what was meant by “more” facilitation.  What if it meant more people? Bigger classes, bigger chances to fail??  Maybe it meant “more often”.  I could deal with that – small groups, a few more times in the week would be okay.  I went home worrying about what I’d got myself into, and arrived back at the office in the morning to find an email from my boss. 
“Facilitation would be a small part of the position – and it would just be more small groups similar to what you’re doing now.  Don’t even THINK about work on your vacation!!!!”
So it looks like I’m going to get to keep the majority of my position – and the scary part doesn’t seem quite so scary after all.  If anything, it’s another small step in moving forward.  And it’s just the relief I needed before heading off next week.
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1577357880) } [19]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-5946701457897882593" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 24 Dec 2019 16:32:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2019-12-24T08:32:30.454-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(40) "A call, an answer, and to new beginnings" ["description"]=> string(11859) "

First order of business: you guys are AWESOME.  Seriously, the emails, comments, texts, and cards in the MAIL made me feel tonnes better after the weekend, and I hope you know how much I appreciate every single one of you.
It’s been four days since everything went down this weekend, and I cannot even begin to describe how incredible they’ve been. On Sunday, I was hit with an unexpected blow, and after a few tears, I found in my inbox a message from one of my favourite bloggers.  It posed the question: “It may seem challenging, but when have you not been up for a challenge?” It threw me back to the last time I felt overwhelmed by something.  Back to almost a year ago, when I was afraid of everything. So crippled by the fear of judgment from others, so desperate to be living a different life, one where I could lead groups, speak my opinion, and be free of worry, perfectly secure in myself.  Back to when I made the decision to change everything.  Fast-forward a year, and I’m finishing up almost six months of teaching weekly classes, offering my thoughts in meetings, even singing in front of people. The journey still has miles left to go, but what I’m learning along the way, those tiny victories, give me the belief I can carry on. And the kick in the pants that I can do the same thing all over again if I have to.
When life throws us curveballs, I’m trying to grow into the person that realises the choice they have as to how to deal with them. Instead of taking the easy road into self-pity, when things aren’t going our way, we can get up and face the world head-on, taking new roads and new opportunities we may never have thought to try.  When one door slams harshly on our faces, we can struggle in vain to unlock it again – or we can walk away. Try a new one.  And see where it leads us.
Hannah’s words made me realise I had that opportunity. So Monday’s post was me putting it out to the universe – and the universe, in the last three days, has delivered. HARD CORE.  I was surprised that very afternoon, whilst at my desk at work, by a phone call from one Nate St. Pierre, down in the States, asking me what I planned on doing for lunch the next day. I don’t think I’d ever been so simultaneously thrilled and confused! He explained that someone he’d spent a week with recently exploring Wellington, just so happened, according to Google Earth, to work two blocks down the street from me, and he thought we’d have a lot in common, and might hit it off! So Tuesday I went for my “blind date” – and had a wonderful lunch with his friend. We talked charity work, social media, travel, immigration to Dunedin, NZ, work – work! She just so happened to be pretty high up with a very well known chain of restaurants, and passed my info along to the regional manager – who called me today to see if I’d like to meet to talk about marketing and promotion while he was in town. During the first week of April. AKA my first week of unemployment. Coincidence? I don’t know, but all I know is I’m stunned by the impeccable timing of this wonderful twist of fate, and feeling rather excited indeed.
I also went out for lunch this week with a great coworker, who sadly is leaving the same day as me – we’ve shared many a laugh, a Glee-fest and a thought-provoking discussion since we’ve shared an office, and I’ll miss seeing her every day dreadfully – but at lunch this week, we talked about outside-of-work plans, including tea, good TV, and working on our goal of singing in front of people together.  I’m totally excited to spend more time with her!
And then today, I arrived home to a bit of a surprising email – from a friend I hadn’t spoken to in years.  I was shocked, initially – but after I finished reading it, I was literally jumping up and down.  We’d fallen out over something silly, and she’d read my post on Monday, and decided to reach out.  We used to be extremely close, and I was often sad she was no longer around – and all of a sudden, by random fluke, she finds my post, and decides to take a risk.  And it couldn’t have come at a better time.  This was the girl that I used to see multiple times a week, have endless conversations with, trade music with and convert to all my British TV. :)   Her email reminded me of how I’d felt about Sweet and I – we used to date years ago, didn’t speak for at least five, and had a second chance… after we’d had some time to learn more about ourselves, about the world.  And once we’d grown up a little, we got the chance to give it another go.  This time, the timing was right. And I’m awfully hopeful it’ll be a similar case with her, too.  We’re meeting to catch up this time next week – and I can’t wait.
I’m gobsmacked at the fact it’s only been a matter of days. And at the difference the power of choice can make.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned recently in life, it’s that we really do have the ability to shape our lives.  It’s just a matter of deciding what choice to make.  Sometimes, when you profess your desire for change to the universe, it really does deliver, with more rapidity and assurance than you ever could’ve hoped.
Despite many things right now still being very much up in the air, I’m feeling a heck of a lot more comfortable that everything’s going to work out just fine.  And I owe a great deal of that, my dears, to you guys.
" ["link"]=> string(81) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2019/12/a-call-answer-and-to-new-beginnings.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(11859) "

First order of business: you guys are AWESOME.  Seriously, the emails, comments, texts, and cards in the MAIL made me feel tonnes better after the weekend, and I hope you know how much I appreciate every single one of you.
It’s been four days since everything went down this weekend, and I cannot even begin to describe how incredible they’ve been. On Sunday, I was hit with an unexpected blow, and after a few tears, I found in my inbox a message from one of my favourite bloggers.  It posed the question: “It may seem challenging, but when have you not been up for a challenge?” It threw me back to the last time I felt overwhelmed by something.  Back to almost a year ago, when I was afraid of everything. So crippled by the fear of judgment from others, so desperate to be living a different life, one where I could lead groups, speak my opinion, and be free of worry, perfectly secure in myself.  Back to when I made the decision to change everything.  Fast-forward a year, and I’m finishing up almost six months of teaching weekly classes, offering my thoughts in meetings, even singing in front of people. The journey still has miles left to go, but what I’m learning along the way, those tiny victories, give me the belief I can carry on. And the kick in the pants that I can do the same thing all over again if I have to.
When life throws us curveballs, I’m trying to grow into the person that realises the choice they have as to how to deal with them. Instead of taking the easy road into self-pity, when things aren’t going our way, we can get up and face the world head-on, taking new roads and new opportunities we may never have thought to try.  When one door slams harshly on our faces, we can struggle in vain to unlock it again – or we can walk away. Try a new one.  And see where it leads us.
Hannah’s words made me realise I had that opportunity. So Monday’s post was me putting it out to the universe – and the universe, in the last three days, has delivered. HARD CORE.  I was surprised that very afternoon, whilst at my desk at work, by a phone call from one Nate St. Pierre, down in the States, asking me what I planned on doing for lunch the next day. I don’t think I’d ever been so simultaneously thrilled and confused! He explained that someone he’d spent a week with recently exploring Wellington, just so happened, according to Google Earth, to work two blocks down the street from me, and he thought we’d have a lot in common, and might hit it off! So Tuesday I went for my “blind date” – and had a wonderful lunch with his friend. We talked charity work, social media, travel, immigration to Dunedin, NZ, work – work! She just so happened to be pretty high up with a very well known chain of restaurants, and passed my info along to the regional manager – who called me today to see if I’d like to meet to talk about marketing and promotion while he was in town. During the first week of April. AKA my first week of unemployment. Coincidence? I don’t know, but all I know is I’m stunned by the impeccable timing of this wonderful twist of fate, and feeling rather excited indeed.
I also went out for lunch this week with a great coworker, who sadly is leaving the same day as me – we’ve shared many a laugh, a Glee-fest and a thought-provoking discussion since we’ve shared an office, and I’ll miss seeing her every day dreadfully – but at lunch this week, we talked about outside-of-work plans, including tea, good TV, and working on our goal of singing in front of people together.  I’m totally excited to spend more time with her!
And then today, I arrived home to a bit of a surprising email – from a friend I hadn’t spoken to in years.  I was shocked, initially – but after I finished reading it, I was literally jumping up and down.  We’d fallen out over something silly, and she’d read my post on Monday, and decided to reach out.  We used to be extremely close, and I was often sad she was no longer around – and all of a sudden, by random fluke, she finds my post, and decides to take a risk.  And it couldn’t have come at a better time.  This was the girl that I used to see multiple times a week, have endless conversations with, trade music with and convert to all my British TV. :)   Her email reminded me of how I’d felt about Sweet and I – we used to date years ago, didn’t speak for at least five, and had a second chance… after we’d had some time to learn more about ourselves, about the world.  And once we’d grown up a little, we got the chance to give it another go.  This time, the timing was right. And I’m awfully hopeful it’ll be a similar case with her, too.  We’re meeting to catch up this time next week – and I can’t wait.
I’m gobsmacked at the fact it’s only been a matter of days. And at the difference the power of choice can make.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned recently in life, it’s that we really do have the ability to shape our lives.  It’s just a matter of deciding what choice to make.  Sometimes, when you profess your desire for change to the universe, it really does deliver, with more rapidity and assurance than you ever could’ve hoped.
Despite many things right now still being very much up in the air, I’m feeling a heck of a lot more comfortable that everything’s going to work out just fine.  And I owe a great deal of that, my dears, to you guys.
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1577205120) } [20]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-5608452946095592670" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 24 Dec 2019 13:47:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2019-12-24T05:47:56.847-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(66) "Finding Friendship (and not with Level 69 Paladins in Netherstorm)" ["description"]=> string(9443) "

A couple of weeks ago, the ever-lovely Tabitha posted about making real life friends, with real life people, as a real life adult.  One of the reasons I love blogging so much is because you guys really ARE friends – we email, text, chat, and apparently now, vlog, and I’m sure it won’t be long until I’m on the Calgary backpages – but let’s face it: I have very few real life friends. As of this weekend, pretty much zero.
I don’t have a standing Friday night cocktail date with a tight group of four à la Sex and the City.  I don’t do Sunday pancakes or brunch with anyone other than my lovely Dad.  And I had to cancel my St. Patrick’s Day party because I had a grand total of two people confirm, and I refuse to be a total Billy-No-Mates in Montreal.
I see people on Facebook, people who’ve grown in cliques or stayed in the same groups they did in high school, and sometimes I long for that feeling. A feeling of closeness, like a mini family you share everything with, fun times, memories, board games nights, trips out of town, and nights out – memories, and a solid network you know you can rely on. It kind of reminds me of that scene in About A Boy, where he’s talking about how two people aren’t enough, because if one person drops off, you’re left on your own. I can’t help but feel this happened this weekend, and other than David and my little cat, I have nobody in my physical real life.  I try and go above and beyond to try and make other people’s lives better, easier… and it’s worthless. At work, I’m probably getting laid off, and at home, I’m told people’s lives would be better off without me in them.  I’m more than a little heartbroken.
Tabitha’s post got me thinking. In this day and age, when most mid-twenty-somethings have already got their friendships well and truly formed, how do you break in – and not look like a desperate weirdo? Is it even possible at this age, or have we missed our chances? I wish I lived in another city, another place… Illinois, perhaps, where I’m sure Jen and I would hang out all the time, and I could meet up with Brittany for lunch every other day while living in Ashley’s spare room, where we’d share stories and play video games all night.  Or Texas, where I know I’d definitely move into the same Winnipeg neighbourhood as Brittney, and we’d spend Friday nights baking cupcakes and watching girly movies while Audrey and Rose chased each other around. In an ideal world, there’d be one big city with all of you living in it, and I could just come and join the party.  But I’m stuck here, in a city I don’t particularly like very much, where people hundreds of miles away show more interest and friendship than 95% of my real life “friends” on Facebook. And I can’t help  but feel like somewhere along the way, I did something wrong. Or wonder if there’s something wrong with me.
I know life happens.  I know people move around the globe like chess pieces and before long, everyone who was once a ten minute drive away is now somewhere else, seen only in photographs, and heard only through words on a screen.  I know I’m blessed to have people around the globe that I know, were it possible, would be here in a heartbeat if I needed them.  Seriously – those of you who reached out this weekend, you have NO idea how much your words meant to me.  Don’t get me wrong, I like my alone time. I like cooking and writing blogs and reading books and watching TV with Sweet. I like karaokeing to Rock Band all by myself. I cherish the lunches I have with my Dad. But I can’t shake the feeling that I should have some sort of… network, shouldn’t I? Hamilton singles to dress up and go dancing with, or take turns hosting dinner parties with, be in a book club with, or go shopping for 8 hours with, laughing and reminiscing the whole time.
I run into people regularly who I’d love to be friends with.  The girl who does my nails every 3 weeks, who goes on holiday to Toronto personal ads.  The massage therapist I see once a week who chats about Star Trek and music, and exchanges bad roommate stories with me.  The girl at the tanning salon who’s full of tips for my wedding, and the people at work who share so many of the same interests and stories… but wouldn’t hang out regularly with someone 10 or 20 years younger. Asking any of them out for coffee or a movie would either come off as an awkward lesbian pick up line or cross professional boundaries, making future encounters potentially uncomfortable.
There are countless books and websites and services out there to match Winsdor people up in relationships in this world. Compatibility tests, blind dates and questionnaires to fill out to ensure a perfect fit with someone you hope to spend the rest of your life with. But why must it be so difficult to find companionship?  Is it just that I missed my chance?  I really count my blessings for having you guys, and for everything Sweet does for me and brings to my life. I felt like the luckiest girl alive when I read so many kind and concerned words this weekend from many of you. But I can’t help but wonder - is it too late in life to find real-world friends?
" ["link"]=> string(83) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2019/12/finding-friendship-and-not-with-level.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(9443) "

A couple of weeks ago, the ever-lovely Tabitha posted about making real life friends, with real life people, as a real life adult.  One of the reasons I love blogging so much is because you guys really ARE friends – we email, text, chat, and apparently now, vlog, and I’m sure it won’t be long until I’m on the Calgary backpages – but let’s face it: I have very few real life friends. As of this weekend, pretty much zero.
I don’t have a standing Friday night cocktail date with a tight group of four à la Sex and the City.  I don’t do Sunday pancakes or brunch with anyone other than my lovely Dad.  And I had to cancel my St. Patrick’s Day party because I had a grand total of two people confirm, and I refuse to be a total Billy-No-Mates in Montreal.
I see people on Facebook, people who’ve grown in cliques or stayed in the same groups they did in high school, and sometimes I long for that feeling. A feeling of closeness, like a mini family you share everything with, fun times, memories, board games nights, trips out of town, and nights out – memories, and a solid network you know you can rely on. It kind of reminds me of that scene in About A Boy, where he’s talking about how two people aren’t enough, because if one person drops off, you’re left on your own. I can’t help but feel this happened this weekend, and other than David and my little cat, I have nobody in my physical real life.  I try and go above and beyond to try and make other people’s lives better, easier… and it’s worthless. At work, I’m probably getting laid off, and at home, I’m told people’s lives would be better off without me in them.  I’m more than a little heartbroken.
Tabitha’s post got me thinking. In this day and age, when most mid-twenty-somethings have already got their friendships well and truly formed, how do you break in – and not look like a desperate weirdo? Is it even possible at this age, or have we missed our chances? I wish I lived in another city, another place… Illinois, perhaps, where I’m sure Jen and I would hang out all the time, and I could meet up with Brittany for lunch every other day while living in Ashley’s spare room, where we’d share stories and play video games all night.  Or Texas, where I know I’d definitely move into the same Winnipeg neighbourhood as Brittney, and we’d spend Friday nights baking cupcakes and watching girly movies while Audrey and Rose chased each other around. In an ideal world, there’d be one big city with all of you living in it, and I could just come and join the party.  But I’m stuck here, in a city I don’t particularly like very much, where people hundreds of miles away show more interest and friendship than 95% of my real life “friends” on Facebook. And I can’t help  but feel like somewhere along the way, I did something wrong. Or wonder if there’s something wrong with me.
I know life happens.  I know people move around the globe like chess pieces and before long, everyone who was once a ten minute drive away is now somewhere else, seen only in photographs, and heard only through words on a screen.  I know I’m blessed to have people around the globe that I know, were it possible, would be here in a heartbeat if I needed them.  Seriously – those of you who reached out this weekend, you have NO idea how much your words meant to me.  Don’t get me wrong, I like my alone time. I like cooking and writing blogs and reading books and watching TV with Sweet. I like karaokeing to Rock Band all by myself. I cherish the lunches I have with my Dad. But I can’t shake the feeling that I should have some sort of… network, shouldn’t I? Hamilton singles to dress up and go dancing with, or take turns hosting dinner parties with, be in a book club with, or go shopping for 8 hours with, laughing and reminiscing the whole time.
I run into people regularly who I’d love to be friends with.  The girl who does my nails every 3 weeks, who goes on holiday to Toronto personal ads.  The massage therapist I see once a week who chats about Star Trek and music, and exchanges bad roommate stories with me.  The girl at the tanning salon who’s full of tips for my wedding, and the people at work who share so many of the same interests and stories… but wouldn’t hang out regularly with someone 10 or 20 years younger. Asking any of them out for coffee or a movie would either come off as an awkward lesbian pick up line or cross professional boundaries, making future encounters potentially uncomfortable.
There are countless books and websites and services out there to match Winsdor people up in relationships in this world. Compatibility tests, blind dates and questionnaires to fill out to ensure a perfect fit with someone you hope to spend the rest of your life with. But why must it be so difficult to find companionship?  Is it just that I missed my chance?  I really count my blessings for having you guys, and for everything Sweet does for me and brings to my life. I felt like the luckiest girl alive when I read so many kind and concerned words this weekend from many of you. But I can’t help but wonder - is it too late in life to find real-world friends?
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1577195220) } [21]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-5528601939442733808" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 24 Dec 2019 10:54:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2019-12-24T02:54:32.314-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(50) "Acceptance: A small step towards ‘A New Earth’" ["description"]=> string(16007) "

I’ve mentioned this book for a little while now, and lately, I’ve been making an extra effort to really live out the teachings.  Well maybe not “teachings”; ideas? Concepts? I must admit I was a bit of a new kid on the Eckhart Tolle block, having heard of his huge association with Oprah (is there something wrong with me if I’ve never seen an episode?), and shrugging it off as “another self-help author”, but A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose was introduced to me early in the summer, and with the path I feel I’m being called to be on lately, it was rather aptly timed indeed.

backpagenew jersey
backpage detroit
backpagesan diego 
backpage seattle
backpage sacramento
I cracked open the book one night in the bath. I don’t often take baths because I get terribly bored, and I don’t often read in the bath because everything gets terribly soggy, so this was slightly out of the ordinary. However the experience remains ingrained in memory – I’d put some on pretty music, lit some candles, and had the window half open so a breeze seeped in, refreshing against the steam coming off the bubbles. I’d grabbed a bath pillow and began to read. At first, I was a little hesitant. The first chapter was about the first flower ever to appear on planet Earth hundreds of millions of years ago, opening up to receive sunlight, marking an evolutionary transformation in plantlife. A bit New Age, if you ask me, but I kept reading the analogy, in which he refers to human consciousness – a similar transformation, which has already begun, which, if every human being decided to focus on purpose and awareness, be free of the Ego, and of all the self-imposed limitations and negativity perpetual thinking gives rise to, could bring about a “New Earth”.
Once I passed the first chapter, however, I was hooked. I carried it everywhere and found myself sitting in coffee shops nodding along as I highlighted something on pretty much every other page, wishing there was a way I could steal the words away from the page and install them into my brain where I’d forever be guided and reminded. It’s not a religious book, but the author makes reference to a variety of different religions and spiritual practices, not to add to the reader’s beliefs, but to create food for thought, and hopefully, a shift in consciousness.

backpagelas vegas 
backpage binghamton
backpage indiana

backpage montana
One of the main notions of the book is that we, as humans, are trapped in our own minds. Our Ego wants to have an identity, whether good or bad, and we are also conditioned to thinking that if we have more, then we will be happy. Along with thinking and wanting more, comes focusing on lack – lack of money, of friends, of attractiveness, of happiness…  “If the thought of lack – whether it be money, recognition, or love – has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack. Rather than acknowledge the good that is already in your life, all you see is lack. No matter what you have or get, you won’t be happy. You will always be looking for something else that promises greater fulfillment, that promises to make your incomplete sense of self complete and fill that sense of lack you feel within.”
The author explains, in a way different from other books I’ve read, that it’s not the Ego itself that is bad, but our identification with it that causes the most suffering. If we identify ourselves by our jobs, our possessions, even on the flipside, by our suffering or hardship – as long as we perpetuate that identification, we are not simply living in the present and accepting things as they are.  The goal is to raise personal awareness of our behaviour, allowing ourselves to simply be in the present moment, rather than getting caught up in in thinking about and reacting to it, or living by the roles we give to ourselves. And aren’t we all guilty of that?
The way we go about the world is shaped, in large part, by our past experiences, by our inner critic, by our fears and by worrying about what other people think of us. We act differently, though maybe only very slightly, around different groups of people. We may act one way around our partner, another around his or her family, another around our boss, and yet another around our closest friends. We ever so subtly fall into different roles shaped by how we want society to see us, or by past hurts or anxieties. Some may have a heightened sense of Ego, going about the world in fancy suits and filling homes with expensive decor, fuelled by the notion that more is better. Some may have latched onto the other end of the spectrum, carrying the weight of their past hardships or present sufferings with a frown on their face and a cloud over their head. The book teaches it doesn’t matter what identification we have with the Ego, as long as it has an identity. And the only way to truly be at peace is to recognise that, detach from those thought patterns, detach from the material things that are ultimately ephemeral, and detach from worry about things over which we have no control.
I took a LOT away from this book, but most of all, I took away the power of awareness and acceptance.  The moment you notice a pattern of behaviour that is no longer working for you, recognise it, change it, and you are on your way to becoming more enlightened and living a more purposeful existence. Instead of allowing reactive emotions to take over in response to unfavourable life events, accept them as they are. Instead of feeling wronged or holding on to grudges, just let them go. And, though painful sometimes, accepting the path a loved one has chosen even though you may believe it’ll end badly. People ultimately only learn from their own mistakes.  There was a great section about peace vs. drama which is something I think we can all identify with, explaining that though we all want peace, there’s something in all of us that also wants drama and conflict. We’re not acknowledged, we have an argument, we feel wronged somehow, and the mind races to defend itself, attack, or blame someone else.
“Can you feel that there is something in you that is at war, something that feels threatened and wants to survive at all cost, that needs the drama in order to assert its identity as the victorious character within that theatrical production? Can you feel there is something in you that would rather be right than at peace?”
The Ego would rather be right than at peace, and the only way to lessen its grip is to become aware of it – the voice in our head that “comments, speculates, judges, compares, dislikes… etc.”  You can catch yourself in these situations, and choose to accept and be happy, rather than insisting at any cost you be right. Since I finished the book I’ve caught myself out slipping into old thought patterns that are ultimately Ego-driven – reacting in arguments, becoming upset over situations I can’t control, worrying about things, and beating myself up. None of this does anyone any good and is never going to pave the way to being at peace, and I think this book should be mandatory reading for everyone who’s concerned at all about finding happiness, and living a good life of intent, peace and purpose. If everyone lived by the teachings of this book, the world would be a very different place indeed. But as with all big movements, they start with a small step. And if I can introduce someone to this reading material and it impacts them the way it did after it was introduced to me… then I’d like to think this was mine.
Sidenote: Apparently I write a LOT when I’m excited about something. Apologies for the mini-essay, but DO give this book a go! Back to brevity tomorrow. When the results from the CONTEST will be out!! :)
" ["link"]=> string(85) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2019/12/acceptance-small-step-towards-new-earth.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(16007) "

I’ve mentioned this book for a little while now, and lately, I’ve been making an extra effort to really live out the teachings.  Well maybe not “teachings”; ideas? Concepts? I must admit I was a bit of a new kid on the Eckhart Tolle block, having heard of his huge association with Oprah (is there something wrong with me if I’ve never seen an episode?), and shrugging it off as “another self-help author”, but A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose was introduced to me early in the summer, and with the path I feel I’m being called to be on lately, it was rather aptly timed indeed.

backpagenew jersey
backpage detroit
backpagesan diego 
backpage seattle
backpage sacramento
I cracked open the book one night in the bath. I don’t often take baths because I get terribly bored, and I don’t often read in the bath because everything gets terribly soggy, so this was slightly out of the ordinary. However the experience remains ingrained in memory – I’d put some on pretty music, lit some candles, and had the window half open so a breeze seeped in, refreshing against the steam coming off the bubbles. I’d grabbed a bath pillow and began to read. At first, I was a little hesitant. The first chapter was about the first flower ever to appear on planet Earth hundreds of millions of years ago, opening up to receive sunlight, marking an evolutionary transformation in plantlife. A bit New Age, if you ask me, but I kept reading the analogy, in which he refers to human consciousness – a similar transformation, which has already begun, which, if every human being decided to focus on purpose and awareness, be free of the Ego, and of all the self-imposed limitations and negativity perpetual thinking gives rise to, could bring about a “New Earth”.
Once I passed the first chapter, however, I was hooked. I carried it everywhere and found myself sitting in coffee shops nodding along as I highlighted something on pretty much every other page, wishing there was a way I could steal the words away from the page and install them into my brain where I’d forever be guided and reminded. It’s not a religious book, but the author makes reference to a variety of different religions and spiritual practices, not to add to the reader’s beliefs, but to create food for thought, and hopefully, a shift in consciousness.

backpagelas vegas 
backpage binghamton
backpage indiana

backpage montana
One of the main notions of the book is that we, as humans, are trapped in our own minds. Our Ego wants to have an identity, whether good or bad, and we are also conditioned to thinking that if we have more, then we will be happy. Along with thinking and wanting more, comes focusing on lack – lack of money, of friends, of attractiveness, of happiness…  “If the thought of lack – whether it be money, recognition, or love – has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack. Rather than acknowledge the good that is already in your life, all you see is lack. No matter what you have or get, you won’t be happy. You will always be looking for something else that promises greater fulfillment, that promises to make your incomplete sense of self complete and fill that sense of lack you feel within.”
The author explains, in a way different from other books I’ve read, that it’s not the Ego itself that is bad, but our identification with it that causes the most suffering. If we identify ourselves by our jobs, our possessions, even on the flipside, by our suffering or hardship – as long as we perpetuate that identification, we are not simply living in the present and accepting things as they are.  The goal is to raise personal awareness of our behaviour, allowing ourselves to simply be in the present moment, rather than getting caught up in in thinking about and reacting to it, or living by the roles we give to ourselves. And aren’t we all guilty of that?
The way we go about the world is shaped, in large part, by our past experiences, by our inner critic, by our fears and by worrying about what other people think of us. We act differently, though maybe only very slightly, around different groups of people. We may act one way around our partner, another around his or her family, another around our boss, and yet another around our closest friends. We ever so subtly fall into different roles shaped by how we want society to see us, or by past hurts or anxieties. Some may have a heightened sense of Ego, going about the world in fancy suits and filling homes with expensive decor, fuelled by the notion that more is better. Some may have latched onto the other end of the spectrum, carrying the weight of their past hardships or present sufferings with a frown on their face and a cloud over their head. The book teaches it doesn’t matter what identification we have with the Ego, as long as it has an identity. And the only way to truly be at peace is to recognise that, detach from those thought patterns, detach from the material things that are ultimately ephemeral, and detach from worry about things over which we have no control.
I took a LOT away from this book, but most of all, I took away the power of awareness and acceptance.  The moment you notice a pattern of behaviour that is no longer working for you, recognise it, change it, and you are on your way to becoming more enlightened and living a more purposeful existence. Instead of allowing reactive emotions to take over in response to unfavourable life events, accept them as they are. Instead of feeling wronged or holding on to grudges, just let them go. And, though painful sometimes, accepting the path a loved one has chosen even though you may believe it’ll end badly. People ultimately only learn from their own mistakes.  There was a great section about peace vs. drama which is something I think we can all identify with, explaining that though we all want peace, there’s something in all of us that also wants drama and conflict. We’re not acknowledged, we have an argument, we feel wronged somehow, and the mind races to defend itself, attack, or blame someone else.
“Can you feel that there is something in you that is at war, something that feels threatened and wants to survive at all cost, that needs the drama in order to assert its identity as the victorious character within that theatrical production? Can you feel there is something in you that would rather be right than at peace?”
The Ego would rather be right than at peace, and the only way to lessen its grip is to become aware of it – the voice in our head that “comments, speculates, judges, compares, dislikes… etc.”  You can catch yourself in these situations, and choose to accept and be happy, rather than insisting at any cost you be right. Since I finished the book I’ve caught myself out slipping into old thought patterns that are ultimately Ego-driven – reacting in arguments, becoming upset over situations I can’t control, worrying about things, and beating myself up. None of this does anyone any good and is never going to pave the way to being at peace, and I think this book should be mandatory reading for everyone who’s concerned at all about finding happiness, and living a good life of intent, peace and purpose. If everyone lived by the teachings of this book, the world would be a very different place indeed. But as with all big movements, they start with a small step. And if I can introduce someone to this reading material and it impacts them the way it did after it was introduced to me… then I’d like to think this was mine.
Sidenote: Apparently I write a LOT when I’m excited about something. Apologies for the mini-essay, but DO give this book a go! Back to brevity tomorrow. When the results from the CONTEST will be out!! :)
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1577184840) } [22]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(67) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-774819507470832901" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 24 Dec 2019 09:55:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2019-12-24T01:56:00.218-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(38) "Backpage: The Results (AKA: Epic Fail)" ["description"]=> string(14681) "

So…. last Tuesday night was the Big Online Dating Expansion Appointment. (For those who missed it, the story of why I had to get it is here.) And it can only be described as one of the most epically awful experiences ever.  I’ll spare you the details of everything I’ve done over the last few years to try and lessen the back pain – you already know I’ve seen more specialists than Heidi Montag’s seen the sharp side of a scalpel. But despite the difficulty, I was determined to get this monstrosity made into something meaningful; I could be proud of again.
Monday night, avoiding all advice against psyching myself out, I got barely a couple of hours sleep in apprehension, tossing and turning until about 2am. I spent most of Tuesday researching options for lessening the pain of tattooing over skin that’s already extremely sensitive, bought a topical anaesthetic which would supposedly numb the skin… only to be told by the online dating artist around lunchtime that it was a bad idea. It would be great if my procedure was going to be less than 45 minutes. Otherwise, for the remaining 2 hours, as it started to wear off, I’d feel all the pain I’d previously been numbed to on top of the new pain I’d be experiencing as he continued, and on top of the already existing condition, it would probably be “unbearable”. His advice: save it for when I come back to get chunks shaded in smaller blocks of time.
So Tuesday. 4:45 pm. I stop at an ATM, take out $300 and head over to the tattoo parlour, feeling slightly sheepish in a white tank top and a black and pink skirt.  They were playing Daft Punk followed by the Spice Girls though, so I couldn’t be that out of place.  They printed the oversized new design, and took me in to get prepped. I’ve had New Orleans backpages – I knew what to expect.  I was silently praying for a case of mind over matter, that somehow the pain would be lifted just for a couple of hours so I could get this taken care of.
It didn’t start off too badly, but about 15 minutes in he was already asking if I was okay because my back was “jumping” a lot. The muscles were going into spasm – just like they did for the longest time before I started going for regular massage at the slightest touch. My face was down on the chair; I held my breath hoping the tears would be held back too. 20 minutes in and it was already excruciating. He’d started way out over my left shoulderblade, it being the “better” side of my back, but as he got closer to the spine it became more and more unbearable. I couldn’t help the tears, and I felt like a spectacular loser. I’d told him about my back problem when I initially made the appointment, but I don’t know if he remembered.  I took a break, caught my breath, and decided to keep going. I found myself exhaling, afraid to take a breath in for fear of it hurting more, whispering “it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay” between needlings.  But it wasn’t okay. The muscles kept spasming, and then my whole body started shaking, just like when I got the cortisone shots.  I couldn’t stop, and suddenly I was taken over by fear and pain.  I knew if it was this bad on the left side of my back, the ‘bad side’ wasn’t going to happen. I’d been defeated.
I heard the artist talking loudly, words of this being “a first in all his seventeen years of tattooing” and how there’d be no way he’d ever be able to get it to line up again,” and how I still had to pay him for the whole thing despite only having a quarter of an outline finished. $320 including my deposit, and I left sobbing, my head flooded with all the old voices that told me I wasn’t good enough or strong enough. That not only was I going to have to continue to wear this badge proclaiming my past mistakes, but I have to add another to it, telling the world I just made another one, drawing attention to my former naivety, and ridiculing my present efforts at ridding myself of it.
On the way to the appointment, I’d come up with an idea I thought would help me through it. None of us can write a new past for ourselves, but we can make the choice to start writing a new ending. I wasn’t going to “erase” my past with laser removal, I was going to embrace it for the lessons it taught me, the person it made me, and add to it, it becoming part of something bigger and better, more meaningful; still there, comprising yet also hidden by the person I am today. I thought this would help me get through it, but now it feels like a punishment. That I must be made to wear this badge of past failures, and that I would be made to live with constant pain, day in and day out ensuring I cannot cover it up.
But I have to remind myself that nothing that’s worth doing is done easily. The process of personal transformation was sparked by things nobody should have to experience, though I’m not ready to share those just yet. The most difficult times have led to a determination to change them, and I’m confident I’m doing all I can to achieve that.  But it all seems so easy in comparison to ongoing physical pain, when all you want is for your body to have the strength to be a reflection of the person your mind has worked so hard to become.
Lesson learned? No, if the lesson is that I must resign myself to being branded with my past mistakes. I can’t do anything I can keep trying physical therapy, but I don’t know if it’s working. The effects are fleeting and expensive. I have to accept that in its current state, my back (and bank account) isn’t going to be able to handle another attempt at tattooing.  So, I must find another option. Laser tattoo removal? Perhaps. Though there are only two places in the city that do it – one accompanied with a barrage of horror stories about Portland personals, also costing an arm and a leg, and the other, a cosmetic surgery clinic, an awkward experience in that I worked there for all of three days before quitting based on moral objections. Wouldn’t that be fun to go back? Apparently it hurts just as much, and is just as expensive, and would take just as many sittings as finishing the backpage dating. Which apparently can’t be done, because “there’s no way my back will be able to take it in this condition, and there’s no way the design would be able to be lined up again.”
This is what I am left with.  It looks strange and unattractive, but isn’t that often what the road to growth is?  It’s not cookie-cutter, it’s incomplete, and it’s not something, at first glance, one would wish for. But it’s real. It’s a representation of a determination to face my past and embrace it, and of trying to make it part of who I am no matter how painful the process. On Wednesday I met with another Sarasota backpage dating, somewhere infinitely more understanding, more welcoming, with more impressive portfolios. I was told about the options of going to my doctor to get some strong pain killers prescribed before coming in, and that yes, they could work in small sections – but it was going to be incredibly costly to do it that way.  At this point, I’m not sure what I’m going to do.  But until I figure it out, I will wear this disfigurement knowing that one day, with guts, strength and tenacity, and  it will become something beautiful.
" ["link"]=> string(76) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2019/12/backpage-results-aka-epic-fail.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(14681) "

So…. last Tuesday night was the Big Online Dating Expansion Appointment. (For those who missed it, the story of why I had to get it is here.) And it can only be described as one of the most epically awful experiences ever.  I’ll spare you the details of everything I’ve done over the last few years to try and lessen the back pain – you already know I’ve seen more specialists than Heidi Montag’s seen the sharp side of a scalpel. But despite the difficulty, I was determined to get this monstrosity made into something meaningful; I could be proud of again.
Monday night, avoiding all advice against psyching myself out, I got barely a couple of hours sleep in apprehension, tossing and turning until about 2am. I spent most of Tuesday researching options for lessening the pain of tattooing over skin that’s already extremely sensitive, bought a topical anaesthetic which would supposedly numb the skin… only to be told by the online dating artist around lunchtime that it was a bad idea. It would be great if my procedure was going to be less than 45 minutes. Otherwise, for the remaining 2 hours, as it started to wear off, I’d feel all the pain I’d previously been numbed to on top of the new pain I’d be experiencing as he continued, and on top of the already existing condition, it would probably be “unbearable”. His advice: save it for when I come back to get chunks shaded in smaller blocks of time.
So Tuesday. 4:45 pm. I stop at an ATM, take out $300 and head over to the tattoo parlour, feeling slightly sheepish in a white tank top and a black and pink skirt.  They were playing Daft Punk followed by the Spice Girls though, so I couldn’t be that out of place.  They printed the oversized new design, and took me in to get prepped. I’ve had New Orleans backpages – I knew what to expect.  I was silently praying for a case of mind over matter, that somehow the pain would be lifted just for a couple of hours so I could get this taken care of.
It didn’t start off too badly, but about 15 minutes in he was already asking if I was okay because my back was “jumping” a lot. The muscles were going into spasm – just like they did for the longest time before I started going for regular massage at the slightest touch. My face was down on the chair; I held my breath hoping the tears would be held back too. 20 minutes in and it was already excruciating. He’d started way out over my left shoulderblade, it being the “better” side of my back, but as he got closer to the spine it became more and more unbearable. I couldn’t help the tears, and I felt like a spectacular loser. I’d told him about my back problem when I initially made the appointment, but I don’t know if he remembered.  I took a break, caught my breath, and decided to keep going. I found myself exhaling, afraid to take a breath in for fear of it hurting more, whispering “it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay” between needlings.  But it wasn’t okay. The muscles kept spasming, and then my whole body started shaking, just like when I got the cortisone shots.  I couldn’t stop, and suddenly I was taken over by fear and pain.  I knew if it was this bad on the left side of my back, the ‘bad side’ wasn’t going to happen. I’d been defeated.
I heard the artist talking loudly, words of this being “a first in all his seventeen years of tattooing” and how there’d be no way he’d ever be able to get it to line up again,” and how I still had to pay him for the whole thing despite only having a quarter of an outline finished. $320 including my deposit, and I left sobbing, my head flooded with all the old voices that told me I wasn’t good enough or strong enough. That not only was I going to have to continue to wear this badge proclaiming my past mistakes, but I have to add another to it, telling the world I just made another one, drawing attention to my former naivety, and ridiculing my present efforts at ridding myself of it.
On the way to the appointment, I’d come up with an idea I thought would help me through it. None of us can write a new past for ourselves, but we can make the choice to start writing a new ending. I wasn’t going to “erase” my past with laser removal, I was going to embrace it for the lessons it taught me, the person it made me, and add to it, it becoming part of something bigger and better, more meaningful; still there, comprising yet also hidden by the person I am today. I thought this would help me get through it, but now it feels like a punishment. That I must be made to wear this badge of past failures, and that I would be made to live with constant pain, day in and day out ensuring I cannot cover it up.
But I have to remind myself that nothing that’s worth doing is done easily. The process of personal transformation was sparked by things nobody should have to experience, though I’m not ready to share those just yet. The most difficult times have led to a determination to change them, and I’m confident I’m doing all I can to achieve that.  But it all seems so easy in comparison to ongoing physical pain, when all you want is for your body to have the strength to be a reflection of the person your mind has worked so hard to become.
Lesson learned? No, if the lesson is that I must resign myself to being branded with my past mistakes. I can’t do anything I can keep trying physical therapy, but I don’t know if it’s working. The effects are fleeting and expensive. I have to accept that in its current state, my back (and bank account) isn’t going to be able to handle another attempt at tattooing.  So, I must find another option. Laser tattoo removal? Perhaps. Though there are only two places in the city that do it – one accompanied with a barrage of horror stories about Portland personals, also costing an arm and a leg, and the other, a cosmetic surgery clinic, an awkward experience in that I worked there for all of three days before quitting based on moral objections. Wouldn’t that be fun to go back? Apparently it hurts just as much, and is just as expensive, and would take just as many sittings as finishing the backpage dating. Which apparently can’t be done, because “there’s no way my back will be able to take it in this condition, and there’s no way the design would be able to be lined up again.”
This is what I am left with.  It looks strange and unattractive, but isn’t that often what the road to growth is?  It’s not cookie-cutter, it’s incomplete, and it’s not something, at first glance, one would wish for. But it’s real. It’s a representation of a determination to face my past and embrace it, and of trying to make it part of who I am no matter how painful the process. On Wednesday I met with another Sarasota backpage dating, somewhere infinitely more understanding, more welcoming, with more impressive portfolios. I was told about the options of going to my doctor to get some strong pain killers prescribed before coming in, and that yes, they could work in small sections – but it was going to be incredibly costly to do it that way.  At this point, I’m not sure what I’m going to do.  But until I figure it out, I will wear this disfigurement knowing that one day, with guts, strength and tenacity, and  it will become something beautiful.
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1577181300) } [23]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-3758844916653194493" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 19 Dec 2019 19:18:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2019-12-19T11:28:44.200-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(35) "Chock full of pride and inspiration" ["description"]=> string(6912) "

A couple of months ago, I posted something I’d been holding back for a little while: how I honestly feel about living away from England.  Though I still don’t quite feel at home here, I am thankful for everything my time in Canada has taught and brought me… but every once in a while I can’t help but feel terribly homesick.

https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/frenchdating
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/americandating
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/texasbackpage
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/backpage
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/loveawakepersonals
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/onlinedating2
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/relationships4
Like the whole of last week, when a small phenomenon known as Britain’s Got Talent took over the UK and the whole of the Internet. Now, stay with me here, I know America’s Got Talent has a bit of a bad reputation – but BGT brought us Susan Boyle, Paul Potts, and Diversity – the street dance crew that set the bar for the future of modern dance, combining innovative DJing, INSANE synchronization, unpredictable moves, comedy, surprises and stories throughout, pretty much rendering every former style obsolete.  I remember watching last year’s final, eating my tea with my mouth open and my fork stuck mid-air, not being able to take my eyes off them for a second.
This year, I was a little nervous the acts wouldn’t live up to last year’s standard. But with the strange, the compelling yet vomit-worthy (yes, a regurgitator made it to the semi finals – and tore at the country’s heartstrings!), and the downright bizarre have also come moments of sheer genius that have given me goosebumps, and had me giving standing ovations in my living room, applauding like a madwoman. (This is why we have curtains.)
What I love about this competition is that it gives the opportunity to showcase not only variety, but imagination, something different, and gives ordinary people a platform upon which to surprise the world. This year’s final was nothing short of STUNNING, and I honestly had no idea who’d take the title for 2010 and go on to perform for the Queen. Here are some of the acts that made my SPINE tingle with awesomeness:
Spelbound - a young gymnastics troupe who auditioned to Carmina Burana, with routines including human cannonballs, bodies as skipping ropes, launching bodies over the judging panel and SUPER HUMAN STRENGTH, balancing upside down, on their heads, sideways on a single hand, building stories, drama, and will literally make your jaw drop to the floor. I’ve never seen anything quite so exhilarating and awe-inspiring (and so proud they’ll be representing the country – amazing winners!!)
" ["link"]=> string(81) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2019/12/chock-full-of-pride-and-inspiration.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(6912) "

A couple of months ago, I posted something I’d been holding back for a little while: how I honestly feel about living away from England.  Though I still don’t quite feel at home here, I am thankful for everything my time in Canada has taught and brought me… but every once in a while I can’t help but feel terribly homesick.

https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/frenchdating
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/americandating
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/texasbackpage
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/backpage
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/loveawakepersonals
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/onlinedating2
https://www.symbaloo.com/mix/relationships4
Like the whole of last week, when a small phenomenon known as Britain’s Got Talent took over the UK and the whole of the Internet. Now, stay with me here, I know America’s Got Talent has a bit of a bad reputation – but BGT brought us Susan Boyle, Paul Potts, and Diversity – the street dance crew that set the bar for the future of modern dance, combining innovative DJing, INSANE synchronization, unpredictable moves, comedy, surprises and stories throughout, pretty much rendering every former style obsolete.  I remember watching last year’s final, eating my tea with my mouth open and my fork stuck mid-air, not being able to take my eyes off them for a second.
This year, I was a little nervous the acts wouldn’t live up to last year’s standard. But with the strange, the compelling yet vomit-worthy (yes, a regurgitator made it to the semi finals – and tore at the country’s heartstrings!), and the downright bizarre have also come moments of sheer genius that have given me goosebumps, and had me giving standing ovations in my living room, applauding like a madwoman. (This is why we have curtains.)
What I love about this competition is that it gives the opportunity to showcase not only variety, but imagination, something different, and gives ordinary people a platform upon which to surprise the world. This year’s final was nothing short of STUNNING, and I honestly had no idea who’d take the title for 2010 and go on to perform for the Queen. Here are some of the acts that made my SPINE tingle with awesomeness:
Spelbound - a young gymnastics troupe who auditioned to Carmina Burana, with routines including human cannonballs, bodies as skipping ropes, launching bodies over the judging panel and SUPER HUMAN STRENGTH, balancing upside down, on their heads, sideways on a single hand, building stories, drama, and will literally make your jaw drop to the floor. I’ve never seen anything quite so exhilarating and awe-inspiring (and so proud they’ll be representing the country – amazing winners!!)
" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1576783080) } [24]=> array(10) { ["guid"]=> string(68) "tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74858939795138015.post-7220580218359914792" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 19 Dec 2019 13:31:00 +0000" ["atom"]=> array(1) { ["updated"]=> string(29) "2019-12-19T05:32:04.062-08:00" } ["title"]=> string(48) "Forget ‘sorry’; goodbye’s the hardest word" ["description"]=> string(15588) "
Saying goodbye after the Fringe every year ALWAYS breaks my heart, and I find myself immediately counting down the days until we can do it all over again. But that heart also radiates an enormous appreciation for having such a brilliant friend, who, despite living thousands of miles away, will be one for life.


In the too-near future, while I’m away in England next week, I’m also going to have to say goodbye to another good friend. I’ve been fortunate not to have had to have been separated from too many people in my life; other than once, last year, one left for B.C. to pursue his Masters, which was hard, but other than that, I think the only other time I had to face separation was when I left England ten years ago.  But in the next week and a bit, I’m going to have to say goodbye to someone else.

Fourche
Little Rock
Fayetteville
Fort Smith
Conway
Jonesboro
Hot Springs
Bentonville
Russellville
Rogers
Batesville
Hot Springs National Park
Pine Bluff
Springdale
Harrison
Jacksonville
Searcy
Texarkana
Arkansas City
Cabot
North Little Rock
Mena
Paragould
Malvern
El Dorado
Arkadelphia
Clarksville
Van Buren
Benton
Mountain Home
Ted has, shockingly, only been in my life for the last 3 months, 11 hours, and 8 minutes (ever go in your Facebook inbox and find the very first message exchanged with someone? Try it, it’s fun!), but it seems like we should’ve been friends forever. We met online through Facebook Friend Suggestions, and it turned out we had quite a few people in common. After about a month of exchanging emails, we met up in person (yes, out in public, and yes, my back was covered just in case) and talked for HOURS.  I was worried about what Sweet might think, me going out to meet a bloke off the Internet, but he all for it, fully supportive of my huge (and rather sad) desire to make friends. So I went. And it was brilliant. Conversation was effortless, intelligent, and fun. We were reading the same book, we both had random philosophical ponderings, and we both wanted to set goals for ourselves. Again, friendship was almost instantaneous, and over the last few weeks we’ve shared hours of coffee and wanderings around the city, sharing hopes and dreams, plans, goals, and life stories. He wanted to keep a journal, so I got one for his trip; I wanted to learn to sing in front of people, he invited me to karaoke and told me I’d be great. (Sidenote: THIS WEDNESDAY. HOLD ME.) True friends do that – they’re there to listen to all the good things and bad things about you and still like you, encourage you, and want to stick around anyway.  Kind of like the big brother I always wanted.
We went to the Fringe last week, when he broke the news: he’s being transferred to Ontario. Permanently. Being face-to-face I had to stifle tears!! I was thrilled about the new opportunity, but so sad it had to come so soon – and of course while I’m out of the country. I came home and whined about it to Sweet so much that I completely forgot a writing deadline! That night I got a text message – “don’t worry. Everything has a reason for happening. I’m still here for now, me leaving is in the future.”  Did I not mention? That book we were both reading was A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle (review to come!), author of The Power of Now, next up on my list. This friend has introduced me to the whole idea of living in the present without worrying so much about the future – something I’m forever going to try to live by. It’s funny how some people’s chapters in our lives can be so brief, but the difference they’ve made can last so much longer.
But for the next couple of weeks, I’m not going to think about saying goodbye.  Because today, it’s easier than ever to stay in touch with the people that mean the most. I’ve been out of England for ten years, and someone I met when I was about twelve remains one of my closest friends to this day. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be spending a couple of days with someone who lived across the street when I was 9, 10 years old, congratulating her on her upcoming wedding. Time and distance may be intimidating, but ultimately prove no match for those people that are firmly planted in your life, and in your heart.  Except now I really have to get on Skype more than once every three months. And stop being so afraid of the telephone. Although there’s something quite lovely about a handwritten letter every now and again. :)
Have you ever had to say goodbye to a friend? Do they know how much impact they’ve had on your life? It’s important I think, every now and again, to tell people how much they mean. Farewell Shelby and Ted, but only for now.
" ["link"]=> string(80) "https://moslitski70.blogspot.com/2019/12/forget-sorry-goodbyes-hardest-word.html" ["author"]=> string(29) "noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)" ["thr"]=> array(1) { ["total"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(15588) "
Saying goodbye after the Fringe every year ALWAYS breaks my heart, and I find myself immediately counting down the days until we can do it all over again. But that heart also radiates an enormous appreciation for having such a brilliant friend, who, despite living thousands of miles away, will be one for life.


In the too-near future, while I’m away in England next week, I’m also going to have to say goodbye to another good friend. I’ve been fortunate not to have had to have been separated from too many people in my life; other than once, last year, one left for B.C. to pursue his Masters, which was hard, but other than that, I think the only other time I had to face separation was when I left England ten years ago.  But in the next week and a bit, I’m going to have to say goodbye to someone else.

Fourche
Little Rock
Fayetteville
Fort Smith
Conway
Jonesboro
Hot Springs
Bentonville
Russellville
Rogers
Batesville
Hot Springs National Park
Pine Bluff
Springdale
Harrison
Jacksonville
Searcy
Texarkana
Arkansas City
Cabot
North Little Rock
Mena
Paragould
Malvern
El Dorado
Arkadelphia
Clarksville
Van Buren
Benton
Mountain Home
Ted has, shockingly, only been in my life for the last 3 months, 11 hours, and 8 minutes (ever go in your Facebook inbox and find the very first message exchanged with someone? Try it, it’s fun!), but it seems like we should’ve been friends forever. We met online through Facebook Friend Suggestions, and it turned out we had quite a few people in common. After about a month of exchanging emails, we met up in person (yes, out in public, and yes, my back was covered just in case) and talked for HOURS.  I was worried about what Sweet might think, me going out to meet a bloke off the Internet, but he all for it, fully supportive of my huge (and rather sad) desire to make friends. So I went. And it was brilliant. Conversation was effortless, intelligent, and fun. We were reading the same book, we both had random philosophical ponderings, and we both wanted to set goals for ourselves. Again, friendship was almost instantaneous, and over the last few weeks we’ve shared hours of coffee and wanderings around the city, sharing hopes and dreams, plans, goals, and life stories. He wanted to keep a journal, so I got one for his trip; I wanted to learn to sing in front of people, he invited me to karaoke and told me I’d be great. (Sidenote: THIS WEDNESDAY. HOLD ME.) True friends do that – they’re there to listen to all the good things and bad things about you and still like you, encourage you, and want to stick around anyway.  Kind of like the big brother I always wanted.
We went to the Fringe last week, when he broke the news: he’s being transferred to Ontario. Permanently. Being face-to-face I had to stifle tears!! I was thrilled about the new opportunity, but so sad it had to come so soon – and of course while I’m out of the country. I came home and whined about it to Sweet so much that I completely forgot a writing deadline! That night I got a text message – “don’t worry. Everything has a reason for happening. I’m still here for now, me leaving is in the future.”  Did I not mention? That book we were both reading was A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle (review to come!), author of The Power of Now, next up on my list. This friend has introduced me to the whole idea of living in the present without worrying so much about the future – something I’m forever going to try to live by. It’s funny how some people’s chapters in our lives can be so brief, but the difference they’ve made can last so much longer.
But for the next couple of weeks, I’m not going to think about saying goodbye.  Because today, it’s easier than ever to stay in touch with the people that mean the most. I’ve been out of England for ten years, and someone I met when I was about twelve remains one of my closest friends to this day. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be spending a couple of days with someone who lived across the street when I was 9, 10 years old, congratulating her on her upcoming wedding. Time and distance may be intimidating, but ultimately prove no match for those people that are firmly planted in your life, and in your heart.  Except now I really have to get on Skype more than once every three months. And stop being so afraid of the telephone. Although there’s something quite lovely about a handwritten letter every now and again. :)
Have you ever had to say goodbye to a friend? Do they know how much impact they’ve had on your life? It’s important I think, every now and again, to tell people how much they mean. Farewell Shelby and Ted, but only for now.
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